[Forgive&Forget.] Sophistication+Simplicity=+D

2010-12-07T00:25:00.000-08:00

Well, i'm really emo lately and i have decided to just keep to myself.
Don't talk.
Don't speak.
Unless someone askes.
Dying is an art,just like everything else.
Well,so is keeping your mouth shut.
Just like i will. Because i've finally had it.
i absolutely think they should stop it,
Argh,and only i know what i am talking about.
Just great.i'm such a bitch,but being like a person in between really is bad.
I wanna keep my mouth shut and not talk anymore,
please just stop it.

This blog is dead.Yeahh.

2010-11-24T18:27:00.000-08:00

Felt like writing something today so i shallll.
And OMG life's so drama yet not drama.
Super loads of work waiting to be done and here i am blogging.
Winner's case~
Feeling so fine like a G6? LOL probably not.
Theatre stuffies!
LITREVIEW-.-"
{oh my tian.}
Thanks KH for doing your research so freaking early,leaving us all with loads of workkkk.
SO MUST START.
Kays Abi get OFF.Theatre crap waiting.
Bye byebye.
Smurfyyy.

Post Number 82.

2010-08-07T07:27:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the zero update and the very dead blog.
Though i am pretty sure no one reads my blog.
I really feel super emo.
and best part? can't express it.
At least camps are soon and will be able to get high during the camps.
and LIARGAME IS LIKE FINALLY FREAKINGLY HERE.
OMIGOSH.
can't wait to watch.
especially if its with 4-10 ppl and darling.
I MISS 4-10 ALOT.I EVEN MISS CALEB.WHICH IS SAYING STH.
DAMNNN.PEOPLE WANNA SEE U GUYS REAL SOOOOON.
Kays.Bye bye.
I go emo first then can get high with you+D
LOVE.LIVE.LAUGH.EATTT,
AbigaiL+D

2010-07-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

26July2010.10.21pm.17DayS.

Day 2.My day was ohkays? Morning chiong CSA with Saul,and we went to submit.Epic Morning,since after submission we went to get breakfast,and i had to bargain for my cup of tea._. forgot to withdraw cash this morning.went to Psych class with cup of tea and Chilli Nuggets, Alvin was laughing his head off when he saw the cup of tea in my hand.Today’s so cold. After Psych class Went to get lunch with Saul, Song and Kian Hao. Coz Song and Kian Hao stayed up all night to chiong the damned CSA, Song was like crazy today? LOLS,stirring his cup of milo and suddenly saying Bryan._. Saul treated me for Lunch!+D haha, in appreciation for my CSA efforts?+D LOLS,i am paying you back tmr. I jux didn’t have cash.

Kian Hao went home to study,Saul and Song went to SAFRA for LAN, and me Home Sweet Home to get some sleep.and hopefully some work done. Went via Yishun[got emo and sad.] , and i stopped at BPP to ask the Customer Service ppl if anyone reported a found phone.No luck.Sales lady got me to buy a cleanser._.sighs.$40.But for 4 mths,so i dun really mind.Anyways i bargain until siao,she gave me a Facial Treatment Voucher supposedly worth $200+D i will book my appointment after tests to distress.+D Bought Ramune[my fav after greenteaaa and white mocha], poifull and poifull soft.poifull was 1.40._.30 cents less than sch,sighs. Went to Starbucks to ask for my phone, no luck.Bus back because exhausted liao.Retail Therapy is tiring._.

On my way home went to Clubhouse to ask again.Saw a security guard on the way, asked him about my phone,supposedly he will check.Asked the management again,don’t have,so i left my name and number, and address for them.Hope the person who picked it up returns.There are so many memories in my phone.His picture is in my phone.My thumbdrive is on my phone. I swear,if i get back my phone, i will erase his picture.erase my memory of him in exchange for the rest. So please Goddess get my phone home to me. I won’t go back on my words.

[If you made the effort to find my dad to give me back my phone,then put in more effort. I really want my phone back. If by 12^th August i don’t have my phone back, that person, that “bitchtard”{Saul’s way of saying Bitch and Bastard since i have no idea of gender of finder._.}, i swear,if i can i will make you pay.Prove to me there are kindhearted souls out there that don’t give up halfway.Or.I will definitely,somehow.somewhere.in this life make you pay.]

[For Darling.Read your blog today.It made me sad..that song was saying that the gf was unknowingly hurting her bf by being close to someone else, or had an attachment to someone else, and didn’t treasure her bf enough.at least,that’s what my pathetic Chinese is telling me. Oh,and that the only thing wrong abt their relationship was that he loved her too much. I want to just say this, because right now,i am confused. I told you from the start.Do you think that having these memories don’t hurt.I want to let go too.i just don’t want to give up.although if i get back my phone,i will. i love you more than i loved him.but obviously, you don’t believe me.Do you think that i don’t feel miserable about everything.I simply don’t show it.A strong person is someone who can smile through the tears and say “i am fine.”But even behind that smile hides so much.so many unshed tears you never knew.i never told you because i never want you to hurt.you told me once that wasting time was alright,as long as you were wasting it with me.i feel the same way.but rite now,that seems to be opposite of whatever you say.I don’t like wasting your time either.I dun like being some irresponsible teenager with emotional conflicts, with troubles on everything, faced with pain and regret and wanting to simply just forget everything.i want to simply just ignore everything and become a living doll.i learnt what was love from you.but right now.i am so confused,so hurt,that i want to simply close my eyes.]

2010-07-25T01:10:00.000-07:00

Post Number 80.
Shall be my last post for a while.
Afterall.Psych Test and Projects are all due soon.
So must work hard,do a good job.
my Critic, i'm determined for it to be more than 13 marks this time.
and my Test had better come out A.Or i will really be emo in the corner.
Right now immediate concern is CSA.Due tmr morning at 9am.
Tutorial Revision is tmr,10am,ENG17-4-55.Any 1A01 readers please know this+D

The thought that i can't talk to you,
can't see you,and shldn't even think about you so that i can concentrate is harsh.
So i decided to jux write one post then REALLY focus.
ThankS for doing the personality quiz for me+D Really appreciate it+D
Sighs.Yesterday i wasted so much of our time.Shld have jux met up at Tampines,then i go home.
And my phone being missing..sighs.i hope its some kindhearted guy/girl.and not some bastard/bitch who picked it up.Praying for Monday.When i come back from School i am goin to the office first to ask them.
This experience has shown me three things.
1.I am an irresponsible bitch,i should change for the better.Be more responsible towards my belongings and my time.
2.I should and must work on being neater.
3.I really love you too much to let you go in the end.even when that's the best and the right thing to do,i keep making this mistake and not correcting it.
So.I am going to prove that i am not a mistake,but making the right choices from now on.

[Lately i have been hard to reach.I've been too long on my own.Everyone has a private world,where they can be alone.Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through? Are you reaching out for me..like i am reaching out for you. Look at my world through each others' eyes.So don't let them say you ain't Beautiful.Don't give up,Stay true to you.]

2010-07-13T20:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i wish you were here.
Sometimes i wish we never met.
Sometimes i wish it was you that i saw.
Sometimes i tell myself it couldn't have been you.
I keep telling myself that i already love someone else.That you love someone else.
But if that was you.Then i must have been stupid to let you go again.
The Contradiction of the world.The Contrdiction of the word called Love.

2010-07-13T18:45:00.000-07:00

60 honest questions

If you're not going to be honest, don't take this survey.

1. Who is the last person you held hands with?

Darling+D

2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?

Depends if they will give me a Mini. As in a Mini Cooper and a Mini Uzi+D

3. Do you sleep with the TV on?

Depends on what's on.If nothing interesting of course._.

4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?

Yes.

5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?

No._.Sadly.Though i have 90% of getting it right usually+D

6. What is your longest fight with one of your friends?

3 months and counting.or not counted since we broke the friendship.over blog.ironic._.

7.Are you afraid of the dark?

Not really. At home,definitely not.At KS' house with the big mirror._.

8. Where did Number 9 go?

Got jealous of 8 since 8 has a hot figure.

10. Who can you always turn to?

Close friends,SomeFamily, my Darling.

Though usually i don't for number 2/3 because i dun want them hurt.

11. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?

Everytime there's a test or exam.The colder the water,the better Witches like it.

13. Are you drinking anything right now?

Nope,nothing.

17. What do you want for Christmas?

Over time, i have no wants for christmas anymore.

18. Do you know the muffin man?

I only know he would be probably pissed that i like Muffins.Alot.

19. Do you talk in your sleep?

Apprarently not,but no idea really.

21. Have you ever flown a kite?

At marina barrage+D thanks Alaine+D

22. When was the last time you went swimming and where?

afew weeks ago,i think.just for leisure+D

25. Have you ever asked for a horse?

Doubt it.i would rather have a pagasus since that one can fly~

26. Plans for tomorrow?

TutorialS._. Journals and Critic.

27. What's your middle name? and why?

haha,on facebook my middle name is my name+D

28. Missing someone right now?

SighS.Don't want to miss.

29. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

....i don't take note of this.

34. What are you looking forward to?

Lots of Stuff+D

35. Have you ever crawled through a window?

YupS+D Desperate girl getting homework on friday after classroom locked up.

But Seriously,its a Regent experience.Everyone's probably done it.

36. Have you ever eaten dog food?

Nope.No dog,no dog food.

39. Have you ever tried eating green eggs and ham?

hate eggs in the first place._.

40. What are 3 things you always bring with you to places?

Phone,Wallet and Neoprints.

41. Any cool scars?

Wish?

42. Do you like or have a crush on anyone?

Attached+D but of course i'd still appreciate it when a hot/cute guy passes by me.

45. How often do you talk on the phone?

Quite often+D me like talking.Alot.

46. Do you believe in love?

Believed in it.Still believing in it,but doubts as usual.sighs.

47. Is there something you want that you can't have?

Jubeat Machine at home.Definitely.

48. Four things about the preferred sex that you first notice?

Face,Eyes,Hair,Height.

49. Who are you thinking of right now?

Who else? Darling+D

50. Where's 51?

Area 51. With the Jubeat Machine and UFO and Roswell Stuff.

52. Where is your phone?

In front of the Monitor.

53. What was the last thing you ate?

1 sec ago,ChocoBaby+D damn nice.

54. Orange or blue?

Orange!!! HSS ftw~

55. Last movie/t.v show you watched?

Movie: Despicable me+D TV:No idea.

56. What song are you currently listening to?

Sound of keyboard typing-MYSELF+D

57. What do you want?

A happy Future with people i love.

58. Who was the last person you ate your favorite food with?

Favourite Food.hmm.i dun have a favourite._.i like alot of food.

59. Last person you talked to on the phone?

Last Night,My darling+D

60. Who was the last person you hung out with?

hmm.saul in the MRT i guess.Who's not here now.

Even though its CSA._. Worried.

2010-07-12T17:36:00.000-07:00

This Post is meant to say good bye.Don't read it if you don't understand.
Death is a scary concept.
Because you don't know what's after, and you take a leap of faith in hoping there's an afterlife.
Right now,i hope that you are happy in the entity called heaven.
Looking down upon everyone as one of the lights in the sky.
Thank you for all the warm memories. For your warm Hospitality, your warm kindness,your laughter.
I'm glad you saw the one thing that every parent wants to see before they go;their son's marriage.
And I'm glad our whole family shared it together.
Rest in Peace.

2010-07-11T06:43:00.000-07:00

Weekend update: I didn't do anything._.

SO,now quizing.I jux felt like writing something here i suppose.

i miss my darling._. Hope he's ohkay.He got headaches for the whole day and woke up at 1pm.

Its all my fault for making him stay up till 1am to chat with me._.

Feel very guilty.Sighs.I hope he feels better after he sleeps.So i will stop wishing he was online now.

Going to watch World Cup Finals later.Amazing,my mum and dad don't mind._. Because its once in 4 years.

Otherwise i bet i will end up whacking my tv to make sure it doesn't go out on me.Or watch online+D

btw. HOLLAND FOR THE WIND!!+D

KayS.I shall quizzing now.Must get 20/20+D

This term i won't make sure there is a blasted 19 there.Like last term.

And i need to start IC and Journal.Tonite i want to finish one or two journals.

KayS,Love you and SMS me people if anything.And no,i'm not taking any bets this time for worldcup.I am officially out of cash.So.If you please+D

Which also reminds me.ThankS alot Song for treating me to Ice Cream and Ying Yang+D Appreciate it lots.

i dunno whether you read my blog and will read this.

But just wanna write something here for you instead of FB,since FB is so freaking public.

Not as if my blog's any better,but still.Back on topic;

[For Song,So just skip it if you are anyone else since i am really just talking crap i think.I dun even make sense.]

[People you trust will eventually kill you.Meaning,Don't trust me.]

Sighs.i feel like going to like this quote because its kinda true for me. i'm afraid to trust,and to be trusted.

But i know tat's kinda like rubbing salt? Because i don't think that anyone wants to be distrusted[is tat even a word?._."]

i hope that seriously whoever it is that seems to be breaking others' trust knows that the opposite side hurts.

Afterall.Been there,done that.It hurts alot.Breaking trust is like being broken too.Or at least to me.

You believe in a Lord,whereas i don't. But i believe that in our world what comes around goes around.

And when people leave their lives to rot,its my hope to put colour back in.It doesn't mean that i succeed. It doesn't mean anyone can or will.because its not our decision.

Sighs.Wat the heck am i saying._.i feel like i am making nonsense here.

Trust is something to earn,and you definitely earned my trust.Hope i earn yours too. Feel better soon and if you need a listening ear i am always here.I will even use SparkPC beside you if you want+D Even though i hate SparkPCs. Oh,and i have already stopped poking you without realising it.So poor alvin then,last survivor+D AnywayS, Focus on the present and your priorities. Feel better kays?+D

Oh,and i am totally goin to treat you to lunch one day.I dun care.This week Design?+D Yummy~

Love is something i am not sure of.But i know this.

I love everyone who loves me.

I want to make sure they are ohkays.

If they are hurt,i will go hurt the bastard/bitch that hurt them[with their permission+D]

If Love is the feeling of wanting to always be there for someone,

then I love you.

My Darling,My Family,My friends.

I will always be here if you ever need me.

Love you lots+D

AbiGaiL+D

2010-07-10T09:14:00.000-07:00

Amazing,but me and Darling survived my parents' scrutiny and actually could go out after that very stressful time. Infact i bet the bill wasn't alot.Why? Because me and Darling has absolutely no appetite._."
Went for Despicable Me which was damn epic and nice+D MINIONS ARE LOVED.GINDAKO IS LOVED!+D NEOPRINTS ARE LOVED!+D
haha,Darling treated me for Gindako Tako[my dinner+D] because i was bankrupt +D Thanks Darling!+D
Then went home, and super epic; i didn't bring my keys out and the whole family went to get supper._."
Sighs.Waited outside my own house for 1hr.Saw something that put me in introspective till they came back.

Cause when I'm kissin' u my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place, you're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissin' u
When I'm kissin' u it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one, should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin' u

[Don't be stressed by those two._." Physically you shld be strong enough for NS,so you shld work out+D But dun feel like you got no choice._." Its more of whether u want to do extra 2mths or so._. LOLS,as for academics you have me+D We'll go study instead of movies all the time i suppose+D OR STARBUCKS+D YUM~ but i'll save up first+D and Hope we can go for the Short and Sweet plays+D sounds interesting.Maybe my heart's still in theatre._." oh well.CupCake was delicious+D You shld have taken one i tink+D Love you lots+D]

2010-07-09T08:27:00.000-07:00

Today was EPIC+D I am always so high when i am with 4-10ers.Its MADNESS.+D

Its one of the best madness ever as well+D

Had school today,went for CSA lecture;AKA played Bejeweled Blitz the whole time.Heeren's a GENIUS.

She got the answers from Seth,a guy from ENG that takes CSA too[like practically everyone does lah._."]

so we jux happily copied the answers and played.Alvin was 02Jaming & L4Ding,and btw i still think that using the chainsaw in L4D2 is totally unnecessary.All the blood is seriously sadistic._." though its the highest kill count._." and no,i will never want to hear the sound of a few coms using the saucepan to kill the zombies,undead,witch,tank,bomber,smoker,and heck knows wat else in L4D2+D

Had Psych lecture,which was totally stunning._." i really think the experiments are cool yet...unethical.Seriously.

Sighs.oh well. BUT i love Social Psychology,its really interesting.i think the one and only chapter i dislike is NEUROSCIENCE._."

After which went with icekachang clique to watch them eat lunch[yes,i skipped lunch and dinner for my mocha+D] and library to write stuffie while letting commie charge.watched Alvin L4D,which i felt super bad for zombies._."

then left for WEST+D went to Causeway and met up with HuiXuan to chitchat while waiting for my stuffie and Joscelin jiejie+D Went to collect my stuffie, then went back to starbucks+D

THEN first random epic thing happened; video cam with darling at starbucks,which huixuan and joscelin were peeking to see+D haha,you didn't really need to hide+D my darling is cute rite?+D but seriously,not hotter than Taylor Lautner, and No Joscelin, i was not staring at his body when he came on+D

HuiXuan went off then we[Joscelin,me and Joscelin's mum] went to eat dinner+D Super sweet of Joscelin's mum to treat me to water chestnut[THANKS!!!+D] while Joscelin ate western+D haha,i had to protect my commie+D

Went to meet Alaine,YiAn and Edmund+D Alaine bought some cake which we shared cost for Joscelin, went to buy the tickets+D i used nets,so everyone gave me cash+D but it means i can't draw cash for next week._.

Called Darling,then went in+D

Second Epic of the day+D Alaine passed to me my birthday present[8months and 8 days late i tink+D] and LOLS,jux nice at that moment The Crazies trailer was up and at the point where its super silent,so the whole cinema probably heard my [Alaine,Thanks alot!!!+D] wow,nice way to start eclipse+D

Many epic stuffie happened in the movie+D Describe all,and u people will be complaining abt the length of the post._.+D BUT i can definitely say one+D

[Joscelin mentioned that Aijia said we should like jump up at the screen when Taylor appears,and just nice we were at the front row,which we got ALL BY OURSELVES.MUAHAHA+D][EDITING REQUIRED! Apparently it was Alaine's idea+D Aijia mentioned we shld stretch our arms and touch the abs instead+D Which shows 2 things+D 1.AIjia,My mentor,seems to like Taylor Lautner;s body alot+D haha,more than me+D Since Joscelin says i was staring at his body+D LOLS! and 2.AiJia misjudged the height.We need yo jump to touch the abs+D]

[but no,we didn't jump.me and alaine jux clapped and laughed+D]

Kays+D I am too lazy to blog liao+D and Joscelin JieJie is waiting to take a look at my FANTASTIC BLOGGIE+D

[Love you lots,dun worry abt tmr.You sounded sad when i called you and i wished i was by ur side to comfort you.Sometimes i think Singapore is seriously not small enough+D and I really dun mind all the shooting from Joscelin and Alaine.Its totally worth it coz i got you+D]

[HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSCELIN JIE JIE!!!+D HAH! THIS YEAR I"M FIRST!!!!+D LOLS,love you lots girl,take care of yourself as u become an old AjimaLee in JC! Gambatte! Hope you get the scores you want! and Thanks for helping me with pysch+D Love you!+D]

XOXO,Love and Hugs and HIGHNESS and RANDOMNESS,

AbiGaiL+D

2010-07-08T03:09:00.000-07:00

Post 73+D
Shocking and real.I dun tink i will ever hit this high if i start another.
oh well.
This post is special for my special person.and No,its not anyone from 4-10+D so Houlianpi ppl dun bother+D

The reason why i can't say it anymore is because i don't believe in it.
I don't believe that "Love" can take away all this hurt i feel inside of me,a knot that i can't cry out.
I don't believe that " Love " can give me a future where i can be free, to fly that sky that seems so boundless, without limits, can do the things that i want to do, can aspire beyond the limits of who i am and what i am capable of.
i hate the fact that i can "Love", if that's what it is.
i only know that i can "Love" you.i can put my fate in my hands and give you my heart instead.
but i still can't say it.Why? because words,especially the word "Love" cannot describe the way i feel about you.
Its not just an emotion.Its not just a need to have someone care or someone to cry with me or comfort me when i cry, nor is the want for others to understand my heartbreaks.Because no one can.Because no one can remove them, can get rid of them,other than myself.And i know i can pick myself back up.
Because there's just no turning back, when your heart's under attack.
Its the feeling of wanting your special person to be with you,to simply give you the reassurance; not that everything will be ohkay on its own. but the reassurance of a solution to make things ohkay.
Yes,I am a practical,heartless,cold and realistic bitch,but this is part of me.

Post 71.My blog is like EpiCally Dead.But its beautiful in death at least.

2010-07-06T21:16:00.000-07:00

First Post after change in blogskin,and its really not bad+D
ARGH.CSA nearly killed me.why?because i wasn't even listening._."
i was actually editing this skin,which actually took abt 1 1/2 hrs to complete.
Yes.I have no idea how to edit HTML.AT ALL.
But the overall effect was quite nice+D
SO no regrets.anyways Macromedia Dreamweaver MX 2004 seems to use HTML.so I was kinda practing,jux not,you know,at the right pace+D
So.Anyways do leave a comment on what you tink+D
Life's Stressful.So no, no description really needed.
Psych:Individual Critic due in 2 weeks. Journal Logs in August,but i will start on that one first. and Presentation on 26th July.
CSA:[Web Project with Dreamweaver due week15,26th July.] Presentation: 28th July.
Stats: EXAM._." and Assignment 3 next week. Tutorial exercises every week.
ACWrite:[Final Draft.Meet Beth in week 13.]
Public Speaking:[Informative speech.Get ready materials and use cue cards;maybe+D]

Jux in case i dun update anymore+D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLY!+D haha,get slimmer kays+D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSCELIN JIEJIE~!!!+D {19th July+D]
[Super early RITE.I CONFIRM FIRST ONE THIS YEAR.MUAHAHA]

KayS,that's it+D
Love you and See you around+D
AbiGaiL+D

2010-06-27T03:48:00.000-07:00

[Post 70+D]
[Yes.My blog looks very dead.I know that too.its jux nowadays all my thoughts are generally on paper+D]
[This is jux a note to my darling i suppose.So yes, people,you can jux X the entire tab,i won't blame you.unless you really want to read some emo stuff for goddess-knows-wat-reason+D]
[HeyS.Sighs,i feel really bad for everything.This situation is so....sighs.yah,well,you get wat i mean.
I'm jux really really really sorry to have to make you go through all that.i bet no one else's parents does that lah.
Done is done,and we can't get out of it liao.
Gambatte for your tests next week!+D Hope i didn't distract you or anything+D
Do your best,kays+D Love you lots,more than you imagine.trust me on that.even though i didn't reply+D]
[AbiGaiL+D]

[now,ACwrite,1st draft._.]

2010-06-22T08:31:00.001-07:00

[hi.its going to be my last post for a while+D i can't really blog so much+D
So i am writing it on paper for now.+D]
[ThankS if u've been reading for keeping up wif the madness+D]
[iloveyoupeopleloads.seeyouaround+D]

2010-06-21T05:57:00.001-07:00

[aww,reading ur blog makes me happy.]
[hmm.details on my day?+D well.wait&see.the day's not over+D]
Post 68!+D Sighs,i missed out on his number.shld have written an emo one+D
[Bye~ SMS+D]

2010-06-18T06:17:00.000-07:00

Hmm.To get rid of the super emo post that was there+D
Jux wanna say how much i love my life rite now+D
Yesterday had PACEsetters interview,totally screwed up i tink.
Then made the epic mistake of going to Bedok wif my darling,went to get more neoprints+D Then yummy dinner+D then...hmm.No comments+D LOLS.ask me if u want,but i will jux give u -.-"
No work done on thurs as u can see.
Today? Woke at 10am,on Com for CDS choosing.then slack by emoing and reading romance novels.
then go out for Pepper Lunch wif my mum and buy groceries+D TILL 4pm._.
Go home,fall on bed,gr8 time asleep+D dreamt of my darling as usual,showing that yes i am mad.Wish Fulfillment,and way too much liao._.
Wake up,vacuum room,clean the bathroom,shower,on com for FB and MSN.
AKA.Haven't done work today.
AKA.I AM SO DEAD LIAO.
DYING.OMG>.<

But today is still super sweet+D
Because Alaine & Darling made it SO MUCH BETTER+D
Alaine wrote 3 long posts for me,which i think is so nice of her+D Love you Lots girl+D
You are a really special friend to me too+D Hope our friendship can totally last the test of time+D
Darling went to change both of our relationship statuses+D
And EVERYONE was super sweet,congrats from everyone+D Love you guys!+D
ThankS so much for wishing us+D

AbiGaiL+D

[i'm a really lucky girl to have you+D ThankS for everything that you've done for me,i feel as if u give so much tat i am a really horrible gf for giving u so little and making fun of you all the time.i promise will write super long letter!+D too bad only can find out on ur b'day+D haha,dun want to lose readers either.Love you+D]

2010-06-16T09:55:00.000-07:00

A blog is meant for writing down of one's thoughts,so i will write this down.Since its kinda on my mind now after i heard Jesse McCartney's Leavin'.it reminded me someone from a distant past...so i am going to write my feelings about her and how i feel after everything that i have heard and all that. so,if you are reading this people and you don't understand its ohkays,coz its jux me saying them so i can feel better.and if u do then please shush,its buried past and i dun want to un-bury it.i jux want to get these emo thoughts out of my head.

When i heard that she was badmouthing me behind my back then i still just kept my mouth mum and shut,because at that point of time it was when i was the most emo,the most desperate point of my life when i was barely living my everyday life and just working and being in my own world and barely coming out.So really she's lucky that that at that point of time i didn't care.I still don't,because after everything that has been said and done, it only shows that i managed to break out of it and proved her wrong? well,nothing's gained,and nothing's lost for me.when i heard recently that she did it quite badly at that time,no surprises there. But what really makes me feel kinda guilty isn't that she said all that about me really.rather, it was another fact.
i still can remember who she was like before. she was brilliant,and she has a future.she could have proven that she was better than me in all of the 4 years. in fact there's no need to.all i could really win her in was in effort,i tink.She came up asking for my results after the examinations, and i tink its competitive,and this appealed to me since i am competitive.i could never win her in bio,nor do i regret it.its hers,not mine. when we got into the same class things simply proceeded on,and i shut myself. she changed too.she became who she was, she became dark to me. When i heard that she lost whom she loved,and she lost it because of me,i felt so god damned guilty.no wonder why she hates me.its kinda her fault but still.i feel really sad,because she was brilliant,its such a loss.its jux really..really sad.why did circumstances lead this ending? the cruelty of life,of fate,of us. i am not really sure where she is now.but i hope that wherever she is, she found her happiness again, and she can regain who she was before.i hope her life is now in colour,like mine.

ThankS for the moments we shared,thanks to the people who brought me out of darkness,and finally thanks to my Yuuki for melting my heart.because you love me,you give me hope.

thanks so much people for letting me vent this out.if i don't i know i am not really going have to a good sleep..so thanks.

AbiGaiL+D

[Sorry,said NiteS liao and i still come online and write super emostuffie.See you today+D Miss you lots+D HugS!+D]

For him+D

2010-06-15T07:42:00.001-07:00

Bryant!+D Hmm.Purposely make me have a difficult time thinking of something special for you+D Hmm.Hmm.Hmm.Hmm.Hmm.Hmm.Hmm.Hmm.Hmm.Hmm+D
I like..wait.I Love you+D Hmm.Things i really really really like about you?+D
i like how you play the piano only for me+D Yah,i'm selfish._.But its true+D
[& if you want to go to LaSalle i tink its ur right to choose...so no comments+D]
i like when we play jubeat together!+D i can play my fav song+D and more importantly i can play with you.it makes me feel as if we are sharing the moment together.even though my scores are epic failure._.+D i like how you always give me that smile whenever i am highing or jux randoming around+D coz it makes me feel better about being myself around you+D
i like how sweet you are to me.even when i don't deserve it at all.you always make me feel better by just being there for me or giving me hope. which makes my heart skip a beat,and realise that i love you.
i like how you and me always end up jux staring at each other and always asking one another if we are ohkays.Coz i always worry about you and you always worry about me.i guess it kinda shows we are always on each others' minds.which is also the answer to almost everytime u asking me what i'm thinking+D
Finally+D i like you because you are you.No one can replace you in my heart+D

USS FTW~

2010-06-14T16:58:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARCUS!+D
haha,i know you don't read my blog+D but who cares.i am going to say it to you l8r anyways+D
Yesterday my dad brought the family + AmoS+AleX+Ally to USS!+D
66 per person,with $5 for retail and $5 for food+D its a nice place really.jux tat its freakingly small,the queues are quite long and there are no transports,its all walk.walk.walk.
Best Ride is Definitely Revenge of the Mummy+D damn nice,we played it 6 times+D we were pretty epic,everytime come out see the pics,then when we found out where the camera was purposely put on nonchalant faces and twists and epic looks+D yum.but we didn't buy any pics._.
The rapids were fun too+D no ponchos for us,so we had to protect our bags+D especially mine since had abt 3 phones stuffed inside.Dad placed it in another bag so its fine.My mum's LV wasn't so lucky+D when we started the ride my mum was pretty happy coz she was in the middle,then won't get wet so easily rite?+D
Turned out that unluckily when it went down the slope,she wasn't facing it,and all three of them[Mum,Marcus,Alex] got freakingly wet.Me? JuX polka dots all over.it all dried off in the afternoon which was freakingly hot.
hmm.wat else...well.actually tat's abt it,i dun really want to write so much+D
Too bad BattleStar not open.looks damn good lah.Ally keeps saying she wants to come back to play BattleStar+D But personally i totally rather go USA or Gold Coast to play.Singapore is really small._.
Damn,i want to go for the Rock&Roll Rollercoaster.its a rollercoaster in the dark wif loud music.damn nice.
Why was it on maintenence the day i went?! argh..nevermind.hopefully can go again+D

AbiGaiL+D
[Seeyoul8r+D]

2010-06-13T01:23:00.000-07:00

Argh.Where's my god-damned-please-goddess-save-me-because-if-this-torture-from-my-*******-continue-i-will-commit-suicide-at-this-rate PRIVACY.i so do not believe this.if i am EVER goin to add them on facebook i swear,i rather jux delete my entire account and restart a new one using my abi_chan account and FOREVER never use FB at home.Because they are seriously intruding my life.Hello.There's no need for me to have to show you my Darling's pictures right.Argh.i feel so horrible.irritated to high heaven.i swear,i'm not going to add them.or if i do i will block them or delete my blessed account.
Great.i am so annoyed i am repeating myself.Wonderful.
DaiSo at BPP opened!+D >.
LoveS from AbiGaiL.

[Sorry for annoying everyone with the post.Yah.its childish.but i really needed to get the annoyance out of my system.before i go mad.SORRY>.<]

2010-06-12T08:29:00.000-07:00

this is my first post that i am typing from my new com+D
which is probably the best and most important point.
I HAVE A NEW LAPTOP!!
WHOOOOHOOOOOOO!
yes.no more ben zhong com.and this com is way faster and cooler.
its silvery purple.and the HP sign lights up when i use it+D
anyways i'm kinda busy so won't say much.i will show it to you if we ever meet+D

[AbiGaiL+D]

[HeyS+D sighs.i miss you too.not as much as u do though,i tink.but only because i see you in my dreams.Study together?+D i dun mind.but must study!+D dun end up i stare at you then you stare at me._.+D LOLOLS.When we are apart,that's when the strength of our relationship is tested.Hope it survives the test of time+D Love you+D msn!+D]

2010-06-12T02:32:00.000-07:00

This is jux a post stating how i feel,and its not really directed at anyone.its jux really my thoughts,i suppose.
No offence intended for anyone,anything,and at any time.
Firstly, a statement of fact. Facebook clearly does allow people to see my thoughts via my statuses.Does it give you the damned right to go around telling people my thoughts? Hello.NO.
So.what i have learnt is simply,never let people close to see my thoughts? Since clearly,some people like to go around intruding my privacy by spreading it around.Wow.Thanks alot.I jux got like an hr's worth of lecture thanks to it as well.really thankful.
All it shows is that Yes,i shldn't go around letting people see my statuses.Like BLOCK PEOPLE.instead of jux blocking some facts,why no save my time and effort to think abt wat info could possibly backstab me.jux block them straight,saves effort,saves my back as well.
i am seriously irritated.because of jux a single status,saying a single line from a song,my morning got ruined.Thanks alot people.from now on.i am not goin to use FB so much.

No.60+D

2010-06-10T20:25:00.000-07:00

YupS,amazingly now its the 60th post.and please JUX IGNORE THE NUMBER AT THE ARCHIVE.
[GrinS like the cheshire cat+D]
well,alot of epic stuff has happened+D and alot of happy days as well+D
its the holidays and i am totally enjoying them.which is equivalent to slacking too much.
For now its ohkays though to me,because i will work hard from tmr onwards.today?
well,i am thinking abt starting the journal logs+D and individual critic..well.must watch the movie first._. the thought of that is not exactly what we call appealing.
WORK aside,life's been GR8!+D i spent my yesterday really nicely+D
1st:TP scholarship interview,which i probably screwed up.thanks alot ELDS.my cca record is horrible,compared to others on my panel.oh,and Kian Hao,i totally empathise wif you.i was there when that guy said all the NPCC stuff.which makes both of our stuff look damn bad+D
[why is there a +D there?i have no idea+D]
2nd:In the middle of the interview,TP jux had to send out the results for TNS and Jap+D
WHICH IS GR8 NEWS+D DOUBLE A!+D YAY!!!!+D haha,i am really happy,i wasn't really expecting TNS to get A.But jap..i was kinda hoping for a Z actually.so i'm a little disappointed but its ohkays+D [of course,hearing abt someone made me nearly commit suicide or commit murder.but that's another story+D]
3rd:Which is jux as important and happy as the 2nd one+D I went out wif my yuuki!+D Went to Bugis,played Jubeat[which i epically lost horribly at agaiiin and agaiiin._.], then we wandered around till it was time to watch Karate Kid+D which really touched my heart,since i remembered being like tat when i was a kid.yah.being the eldest girl kinda means u learn how to get violent.i'm not sure if i shld be grateful to amos for that._. well.i suppose+D being violent seems to a nice thing so far+D AiJia ShuaiGe,my mentor for poking people+D apparently she got a new way for makinf sure the tall guys don't block her view in class anymore,which is quite cool.i might use that one day._. ohkays.i dun blog abt my fantastic day wif my yuuki liao,l8r he get jealous+D wish he gave me a hug before i left! but the bus timing was epic+D

In conclusion.My thursday was great+D and today's goin to be gr8 too+D
My uncle is getting married~ haha,its quite close and not close but who cares.its at FOUR SEASONS=GOOD FOOD AND SERVICE=I CAN SEE MY DELIPOTATO+D
[if u are wondering or LOL-ing at the second =,its kinda true.+D]
AnywayS! i have to go shower to go downstairs to buy food.i'm hungry._. and I want my elixir before i start thinking about work! GREEEENTEA+D

[Always for you♥ThankS so much for spending the day with me,even though you were really tired from your lectures and jubeat in the morning before we met up+D Love you+D and work on your timing!+D LOLS! haha,i wonder this time how long it will take till u miss me again.But as every day goes by u shldn't miss me so much;coz everyday away from you is another day closer to you+D my.yuuki+D]

2010-06-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

Life's EPIC+D
especially if you meet up wif aijia+D like i did today!+D
♥AiJia ShuaiGe+D haha,are you jealous?+D don't be+D you know i♥you too.
haha,we went to starbucks and studied+D as well as chatted alot+D
damn,i miss my 4+10ppl so much.Meet up more!+D Loving StarBuckS more and more+D
today has my favourite white mocha,while aijia had the jux mocha.and apparently Green Tea Cream suX,which is,well,expected.LOLS!Aijia,u get wat i mean+D and i am mean._.who cares? well,maybe he does,but i don't+D
ANYWAYS.i shan't ruin my epic post so much!+D
[Saul is Awesome+D] please note,the +D is being plagarised.
then again.my +D is SUPER PLAGARISED.ARGH.
let me show you an example of unplagarised work+D
[AbiChan is SUPER AWESOME+D]
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLS!+D
Ohkays,i shall be nice and talk on msn rather then blog and ignore my yuuki.he belongs to me though i don't belong to him.too bad..i happen to be one of those girls who absolutely hate being ordered around or claimed+D
OR PLAYED AROUND WITH FOR THAT MATTER.HINT HINT.+D
LOLS! ohkays+D this is epic enough+D its post 59!+D
AbiGaiL+D
[All's Fair in the Game of Life & Love.So,don't..+D Love you as always.even though i have Love Bipolar+D]

2010-06-06T07:25:00.000-07:00

Haha,keeping wif the trend for now+D i am not goin to blog abt my Saturday,which was really nice+D
Of course the side comments..i will say them l8r+D totally looking forward to my tmrs+D
Today was really sian but interesting?+D LOLS.My dad got the lottery,so we went out to celebrate+D
ate at Crystal Jade,i was totally full when i came out.Breakfat+Lunch all done+D yummy food,and the bill came out ohkays.143 if i remember rite.Applebee's in Singapore was around there too.horrible.USA applebee's is much better+D
Sort of cleaned up my room alittle by packing my shelves a little.My table is still a hopeless case,and i am too lazy to actually figure out where i need to dump all my extra stationary.if i stuff all of them into my yellow case now its goin to be overkill for it,and its already a B4 file.+D LOVE STATIONARY+D
anyways i am now waiting for my parents to come back wif my dinner+D YupS,its 9.46 and i am eating toast+D
Yay,my darling+D[SO WEIRD TO EVEN WRITE THIS.insanely sweet but its awkward for me._.] jux played Angel BeatS for me again+D i didn't tell him,but actually i asked him to play tat coz my bro was standing behind me watching as well.and my bro was smiling as he watched+D its a good sign i guess+D
Its still weird for me to write these kinds of things.i rather tease him like siao,like i did jux now+D he's practicing his piano now so i dun want to disturb him+D
Goin to end off now.dun really feel like blogging anyways+D i am so excited abt my next week,wif interviews and formal training[not really looking forward to tat._.] and TUES WIF AIJIA-SHUAIGE+D i love starbucks+D

[As usual this space is always for you+D ThankS for making my saturday really nice+D Love being wif you so much,and i kinda wish we could meet up more..sighs.no choice.hmm,i jux wanna say it here,since i know i will never be able to say it to u;[yah,i am tat awkward._.]i really like it whenever you do spontaneous stuff to me+D like TTM!+D haha,i kinda wish i didn't have that phobia of iceskating._.Love you+D]

AbiGaiL+D

MidTermS are over,now projects are here.SighS.+D

2010-06-04T07:56:00.000-07:00

Today was really really epic.i tink tat kinda sums up my day.seriously.
Came to school at 8am[no surprises there].Alvin& Saul came early too+D and surprisingly bryan too.but tat's because he didn't see the schedule for today,alvin too._. people.Check your schedule+D
CSA test was today.i didn't really study,and when the exam started i really wished i did.
Its easy.Really.If u memorised all the weird stuff in the textbook,its definitely easy.
but of course i didn't.luckily stuff i predicted might come out did,so i could write something at least.
No A maybe,but shldn't fail either+D i shld be ohkays+D
So many people left like halfway through the exam.Alvin is most epic,sleep from 10.30 till 10.50 when its nearly cannot go liao then wakeup and go.or at least according to everyone.he's sitting behind me so i have no idea really.
Couldn't even celebrate after the exam.WildLife project meeting,luckily only half an hr.its an interesting project,but its so vague i dunno wat to do.sighs.Projects.Plenty of that coming up this holidays.but only 2 that i am REALLY interested in+D one is ofcourse Psych in Movies,and the other is the competition.
if my ultimate dream wins the competition.i might get investments,funding even.i might be able to start now on something i already want to do.and this gives me hope,alot of hope.i want to make sure it gets to the finals,hopefully even WIN.so.I MUST START,MUST WORK HARD.it will take alot of effort and keyboard work,and at this rate,i might need that certificate program and blah blah.As well as the TP scholarship.My interview is on the 10th June btw+D i really want to ace it+D i shld be ohkay! i love interviews,somehow my luck pulls me through! and i really want it so i better impress them+D
Anyways after the meeting went to Bedok and waited for the guys+D i was jux lost there,wandering around till i found my favourite Each-A-cup and bought Oreo Chocolate[another loved+D],when Saul called me and i could see them+D they came over and bought too+D or at least Saul and Kian Hao did. I was actually surprised KH came along,but its only because its on the way to Lavender._.typical KH i suppose.he crashed his laptop on the bus earlier and my heart broke for the poor laptop._.
Anyways Went to Kallang Leisure centre to KBoX!+D we were epic on the bus talking abt disorders.looks like i have anti-social personality disorder+D i quite like it,it suits me.
KBOXwas REALLY REALLY FUN!!!+D
haha,i warned u guys,come with me and dun expect the mike.i seriously literally held on to it the whole time+D sang my favourites,[Taylor Swift,JoJo..+D] and some that i really hadn't sung for a long time.Gr8 fun+D Song left earlier but while he was there its was SUPER EPIC.dancing madly there,and all the side comments?+D LOLS.EPIC+D
Sang alot of emo songs that really reflected how i have been feeling these days.So unsure of how i feel,though i know he feels so strongly about me.which makes me feel really sad because i know i am letting him down,disappointing him.All he wants from me is my time,my presence,and its the one thing i cannot give him.sighs.
after KboX,went down to Somerset[ILOVE313+D] and tried to find the store that Alvin's sister apparently got her miXstyle headphones from.Walked the entire 313 and STILL cannot find.So i was kinda desperate and asked the guys to go other places to find.went cineleisure,found the place+D THANKS Saul for having gr8 intuition,and Sorry for like dragging u around wif me.Alvin too+D
Bought the MiXStyle headphones for 10.Now i know why Saul said the sound quality sucks,because its really bad.like worse then even my earpiece,and i used to think my earpiece was ohkay.But who cares,the MiXStyle looks nice+D PinK wif WhiteStarS+D pamper myself for hard work+D
yah,alot of pampering actually._. NailS+HaiR and now headphones.Sighs.i shldn't._.
Went to the bus stop,realised no bus so we went to the other bus stop. It had 171 which was wat both me and alvin needed,and it came afew seconds after we got there.so sorry saul,we really dragged u all over then our bus come first._.
Talked to Alvin on 171 abt my feelings and all that,and his advice was to tell him how i felt and all.
right.easier said then done.[rolls eyes at ceiling]got off first and went back to HOME SWEET HOME.+D
Showered,on maX and here i am+D
OHKAYS! NOW I HAVE TO CRASH ACADWRITE IN 1hr15min._.

[i know that i am being seriously heartless.because what i am thinking about saying is probably goin to disappoint you again,and even make you heartbroken.therefore i feel like i don't deserve your love.at all.Because i am willing to let you go,for the sake of our dreams,for your sake and for mine.Know that my choice is because i really really really don't want to make you suffer with me. i know that success with out someone there to celebrate it wif is really sad,really worthless. But right now,i can live wif it,i think.even if it hurts me.even if it hurts you.yah,i really don't deserve your love for me.i keep bringing your hopes up before crashing them down.trust me when i say i know how it feels.been there before... the only things u asked of me was for my love,my time and the right to show everyone that you love me.But i can't give that to you already as it is..My time,i have no choice.No freedom,and my responsibility to do well bars me from being wif you. Right now,everyone knows that you love me,and eventually the one who has taken care of me since i was born will find out.then he will literally put me on home arrest.he made it very clear about me having a relationship this morning..i don't want to let him down.no matter the pain to myself.It makes me feel uncomfortable too,because i am not sure if i can truly return these feelings,your love fully.its for these reasons that i ask that can we jux calm down and really take things slowly? Like even if we don't meet its still fine? because right now,my love for you probably means nothing in the face of the challenges.i wish to be with you too.but i can't.and you have to understand that.if it makes it easier for you to jux break this relationship wif me i can take it.]

2010-06-02T02:29:00.000-07:00

Argh.Psych most likely no A.and i am really really sad.it means i really need to give up alot of time for my course from now on.I need to memorize everything again..I want that A back.

SighS.but its necessary.

Because today i found out from YuTing[ThankS!+D] that the ANU course for honours which has a min.requirement of 3.95GPA actually allows me to skip abt 4yrs?

and tat is such a big jump..i can save so much time.my dreams would be closer..

I am not sure of what i want anymore.Because its said that if u want something,u have to sacrifice something in exchange.in this case its really clear..and i am so confused.

i feel like...i am really jux feeling horrible.i want to work hard.Damn it,where's the girl that worked like hell for him then? half of me wished tat time returned.even though i would lose everything for it.but then again i already nearly lost everything.

i don't know what to think,what to do.

For now.its jux academic writing and statistics is tomorrow.

For now,its jux going to be me in a lonely world,working hard.As usual,i suppose.

[iloveyou.somuch.
butrightnowiamjuxunsureofevenhowifeelanymore.
iwonderifyouwillunderstand.
iwishitwouldn'thurtyou.
becauseonepersonsufferingisalreadyenough.
mystupidheart.]  

And I promise myself

I ain't nobody's, I just wanna be free

And I promise myself

Even though it don't always come easy

Gonna learn from my pain

Never explain

Do it my way, that's what I say

Promise myself

I'm the only one who will believe me

There's a voice in my head

Telling me come on, come on, move on

There's a voice in my head

Telling me I know my right from wrong

They say what doesn't kill you can

Make you strong

Now I know what it means

[Promise,by Vanessa Hudgens]

I can’t go back, I won’t go back, there’s nowhere left for me to return
However much I look behind me, I cannot change my footprints
And even if I paint over them beautifully
My mind won’t be deceived

The unattractive
parts of myself are dear to me

I can smile Because that period is over

I want to go forward, I can’t go forward
Hesitating like this means that I won’t hesitate anymore
It would be easier for me to stay here
But nothing would excite me

What fulfils everyone is the period in their lives when they shone the most
How tragic that is…

Don’t look back

The curtain falls in this way
And you…

Don't look back
[Don't Look Back,Ayumi Hamasaki.]

♥

2010-05-30T19:44:00.000-07:00

♥everything that has happened.its so new,so scary,so weird,so...great.
i really don't have words to describe my feelings right now,because they are all mixed up in a big fat couldron of my mind.yah.i am going nuts. BrS,Now&Forever.
i really am...jux happy.super happy!!like i feel as if i can actually run 3 rounds around my condo and still be happy,instead of crashing thanks to the headaches+D
i have never been so happy to make such a mistake in my life. It really must have been destiny,fate..whatever you want to call it.i jux think its divine intervention?
haha,tat sounds so not me.oh well.i dun really care.Giddy with happiness+D

i am really really glad that i signed up for DPA,i went through it and passed it+D
so,i have to thank Alaine again+D i'm goin to tell u wat happened when u have time+D
i really hope the same thing happens to you..and let's go out sometime.Miss you alot+D

OhkayS,emotional stuff aside.
This week's TERMTESTWEEEK.
Its the week when all the effort will become the Zs and As.Hopefully.
and i must! i am goin to work hard.Today i will do finish my stats and CSA,memorise CSA as much as i can.then tonite and tmr i am goin to study psych+D
i tink i am still ohkay.but i really need to write notes,and there isn't enough time.SO.computer,i'm goin to give ur keyboard a workout soon i tink.
Alright!+D Time to work+D

[Even after everything that has happened i am still as shocked as you are.I feel as though i must be the luckiest girl rite now.ThankS+D and sorry for literally forcing it out+D How ironic,the number of times i actually commented on myself._.well,introspection+D ♥Love you+D i wonder if your heart skips a beat when you read that,coz my heart does,everytime i read that on your blog+D]

AbiGaiL+D

2010-05-28T20:53:00.000-07:00

Tsk.nothing to really blog about.
hmmmm.ohkays,jux got one+D
i jux watched bryant play My Soul,Your BeatS on his piano via video call.
and seriously damn pro lah.i mean he was nervous and i could hear the mistakes BUT ITS STILL DAMN PRO+Dwhich means only one thing:i am never goin to learn how to play this song._. sad.its a gr8 song to listen to+D
Which also reminds me:
Yuuki-kun,hit Bryant in the head and tell him not to be emo.
Thinking up epic smses is HARD.seriously.
One day U will reach where u want to be.if u work hard enough for it i guess?
Vienna isn't underwater yet+D so dun worry+D DreamS don't fade in the twilight..
Oh,and whoever u are playing the game with,poor them!!+D
LOLS.i will start the torture soooon.i am super curious lah!+D

oh,and jux watched 4-10/09's mad photos and videos at sentosa!!
all i can say is its EPIC.seriously.the guys dancing Gee again._. wonderful,i'm traumatized all over again._. but it looks so fun.i wish i could have gone too.
Of course,i did notice that Caleb,as usual, is playing his PSP there._.
oh yeah,u idiot,u forgot to reply to me.i was waiting for quite a while-.- damn.
ohkays,back to Recess Clique!
next time u guys plan an outing,PLEASE put it on a date when i can go!+D
LOLS!hmm.oh,and maybe KBoX next time!+D i can't wait to chase KL and JK again actually.really miss the recess+tuition clique LOTS LOTS!!!

Speaking of KBoX!
I AM GOING NEXT FRI.With 1A01!!!
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!+D too bad people,i am goin to hang on to the mike for a LONG TIME.bet on it.we west people love singing too much+D
ohkays,must survive all the term tests first!
STATS.PSYCH.CSA.
I must work hard!+D

[today i saw a white butterfly fly off into the sky.it reminded me of the pair by the malaysian railway,where i saw them fly around each other before heading off to the sunset together.such a small memory,such a big impact on me.it was then i realised i wanted to be with you always.now its broken..seriously suffering from Love Bipolar for me.i love you...i tink.i want to say it but i am afraid if i do then things won't be the same again.damn.i seriously need someone to teach me how to love.because then i can understand.]

AbiGaiL+D

2010-05-26T17:16:00.000-07:00

i doubt i will be able to ever understand how difficult it is to describe about a girl._.
ThiS is like so epic lah! sighs.dun care.hmm.actually it kinda reminds abt Chinese Water Torture,but nevermind+D how ironic life is.i am COLD.

On a sleepy morning that I keep waking up to
I pull my necktie tight
And when I pass through my classroom door, I can start walking with my chest puffed out just a little
The wind blows through such ordinary days
I realized I heard it
I realized I felt it
Now in my chest that started to tremble
I realized it was coming already
I saw off
The millions of stars that were disappearing
I waved my hand
Saying, "Good for you"

I look down at the corner of the hallway in middle of cleaning
I think it's a strange thing
Even though the time inside of me has stopped
It feels like I'm living through different days
Dust falls and accumulates like snow
I realized you're waiting
I realized you're calling
Now in this time that started to tremble
I realized I found it
My lost memories recalled
My story
Of eternity
Its ending

I started running before I knew it
My hand was being pulled along by you
Yesterday was far away, tomorrow was right ahead
That natural fact made my heart dance

I realized I heard it
I realized I felt it
Now in my chest that started to tremble
I realized it was coming already
A new sun overcame thousands of mornings
I realized you're waiting
I realized you're calling
My soul is trembling
I realized I found it
I saw off
The day that's able to disappear like millions of dreams
I waved my hand
Saying, "Thank you"

Now i know where that status came from+D

CSA*Clever,Smart AbigaiL!+D

2010-05-25T19:50:00.000-07:00

LOLS!! thanks to my brother+D he was like [Clever Stupid Abigailllll]
then obviously i edit tat.who the hell scolds themselves stupid?
u can scold urself EVERYTHING except like ur own genius?
yah,i know i am not making any sense.i'm little high and a little weird this morning.my thoughts aren't coherent.At all.sighs.or is it [my sense seems to be super bizarre and i tink i need COFFEE.or at least coke+D NOT CARBON.(i kinda miss chemi ._.)]
anyways before i actually forget the most important thing abt today's post!
Its the 50th post!+D [whoohoo?]
haha,i still rmb reading YiFang's 100th post.tat was quite epic+D
hmmm...thanks people for like handling all the crap i post online?
oops.ohkays.that's abit weird.
Hmm.shld i thank people one by one till i reach 50?!
hahaha.i am random.but NO WAY.its way too long for me,and only have poor CSA time to do it.
hmm.....i tink i will jux thank some people+D like people who really mean sth to me right now.
alphabetical? hmm.maybe...? sighs.disoriented.
Alaine!+D HeyS!+D i dunno whether u even read my blog,but anyways thanks so much for like being there for me everytime i need you+D Totally empathise with u siax.guys.sighs.let's get high abt quackie sooon+D
Alvin!thanks alot for like riding me all the way home when u have time[most of the time] and for listening to my thoughts.yah,i kno i have trust issues.i can't change tat part much though..rite now its all fuzzy in my head.+D
Bryant!+D LOLS.yah,we always end up thanking each other in posts+D but since its the 50th definitely must write sth here for you+D Thanks alot for like tolerating all the madness that comes from me,especially all the sudden highs and lows and stuff like tat+D can't wait for saturday!+D New angelbeats episode+piano~+D LOLS.sleepy.sorry for not replying last nite btw.idunno how but i fell asleeeep.Sorry..+D
Caleb!+D yah.we got a really weird friendship..one min we are like at each others throats and the other min we are talking as if those epic moments dun even happen+D well.who cares? a friendship is a friendship+D thanks for everything+D especially all the mind games!+D LOLS.one day i will play reverse psych on u i tink.if i have the time.or the will too+D
DeliA!+D HAPPY SWEET SIXTEENTH!+D LOLS.yah i am late in posting this.but u dun read my blog anyways!+D hmm.thanks for tolerating madness for a full 16 years!+D love you my delipotato+D
KianHao!+D LOLS.yah,i am thanking u here.even though i kno u dun even read my blog either._. oh well.Thanks for giving me so much help for psych and everything+D i really really appreciate it+D
SauL!+D LOLS.u are rite beside me now yet i am writing a thanks on my blog.i shld jux tell u huh?LOLS.nvm lah.its better written then spoken? and LOLS.yah.kinda agree there.its so epic fail ._.
LOLOLS.anyways thanks for everything!+D WestSideRockS+D
SonG[maytee teo congsheng sawanpangyangkul-.-(sorry if i spelt wrongly!!!+P)!+D
YOU WEREN'T HERE TODAY.and u live opposite TP.gr8~+D sighs.hope u are having fun studying at home now+D hmm.Thanks for staying back wif me to watch me eat dinner btws+D its nice to have someone chatting wif u or even jux sitting with u so tat u aren't alone!+D i'll keep my promise to get you coffee+D i need one like siao.Sleeeeepy.[Shoot.i am seriously stretching out all my words.]

Sighs.i am too tired to write anything else.and this post is so long liao+D
LOLS.talk to you on msn or fb or phone or sms or telepathically[ESP?i'm not sure._.]+D
LoveyouChatL8r&workinghardforhimalways.
AbiGaiL+D

[Sometimes a heartbreak would bring u freedom.right now i never want to give up,but...the hints and riddles jux make me feel like i really am putting my heart up for target practice.]

2010-05-24T06:51:00.000-07:00

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish rite now,so i that i can wish that every nite before you sleep and every morning once you wake that the first person you tink of is actually me.
[inspired?+D by yuuki-kun.so no plagarism occured!+D]

LOLS.I am SLEEPY.
and i am being framed for so many stuff today!-.-
oh well.life goes on,and tmr seems to be pretty interesting for dunno wat reason.
Maybe because i cherish my everyday.as well as my sleep.
while doing quiz 6 &7 i was yawning like u wouldn't believe.
Went to drink ice cold water jux to wake up like 3 times.
which also reminds me+D
ThankS alot KianHao,Song,and Saul+D
You guys are definitely pros for abnormal psych.and i have to study.
Which i will! tonite i am goin to write as much as i can.and read up on everything for NEUROSCIENCE.
heck.Bio..why? damn.i kinda regret not taking pure bio in sec2-.-
Forget it.no regrets there.i love Physics+D and for one thing;
Do i look like the kind of girl who wil give up jux because the damn bio looks complicated?
NOPE.Neuroscience,i am definitely goin to get full for ur qn.Count on it.-.-
i sound so weird-.-
._______.?
LOLS.i saw tat today! its cute+D thanks XaXant.i doubt u read my blog though!+D

Ice*DreamS+D and L-O-V-E+D
AbiGaiL+D
[Post 49!+D]

2010-05-23T19:05:00.000-07:00

Jux wanna state this first: i totally didn't expect my 48th post to be so short and so random+D
I reinstate my point mentioned in post 47 [SOUNDS SO FORMAL-.-]
THANK YOU YUUKI KUN FOR WAKING UP 1/2 HR EARLIER TO CHAT WITH ME!!+D
oh.yah thanks for the future 2 hrs?+D LOLS.:P Super random but i quite like this.
i can't wait to see ur reaction+D

which also reminds me.
XuJie if u are ever goin to read this,i am not engaged and i'll never go on a date wif you jux so u can win the bet-.-

DONE+D
EPIC FAIL AND WIN POST+D
AbiGaiL+D

2010-05-23T18:57:00.000-07:00

ARGH.MONDAYS.
Horrible,horrible.Waiting for 4 hrs-.-
ARGH.i am so sleeeepy.Thanks alot XuJie.when i need someone to talk to at midnite U BETTER PICK UP YOUR PHONE.Or i will do sth drastic.i dunno wat yet,but its definitely not wearing BRS-.-
47th Post! yah i know.people tat check the sidelines for the past posts will realise the no.isn't 47 i tink.Well.who cares.its 47th on my dashboard.Good enough for me+D
4+7=11!+D
yah.its random+D
sighs.i am really sleepy and slacking.Even though TermTests are like next week,yet..
i really feel guilty but i want to slack.No energy.
Oh well.Lucky got people talkin to me on MSN+D
Otherwise i am so dead.Really.SLEEPY.
yah,i was planning to start on the journal logs.but so far no inspiration.
AbiGaiL+D

46th+D

2010-05-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

MUAHAHA.46th Post+D
yay?kinda+D
for one thing i quite like this post+D
i already thought out what i want to write!+D
Hmm.Let's start by wat happened today+D
LOLS.went to yishun to study with bryant+D
and had my favourite Venti WHITE MOCHA+D Yum.but i really shld stop adding whippedcream-.- must start eating little.i am starting to be irritated by my family's smart comments-.-
I managed to finish STATS!+D this week's work anyways.and i already studied on tues on past topics as usual+D of course i'll study again on tues+D
After we studied till 5pm [Thanks alot for chasing us out starbucks-.- it jux tells me i shld use my TP discount at coffee bean at CS more-.- Anyone up for beaning??+D BUT NO INTERNET-.-]
wandered around northpoint,but there's nothing-.-
Popular also dun have B5 file.damn.Daiso then+D
anyways we went home after tat.i kinda feel bad for dragging him west-.-
LOLS.well its nice doing Physics again+D i love it=D
his physics is hard though.made almost no sense.wat is i and j?+P
well.could be worse?+D i dunno.work hard bryant!+D
Hmm.i am definitely goin to write notes tonite! i like doin notes at nite+D
anyways! Offtrack again-.-
i went home then went to Ally's place+D
Ate dinner and chit chatted!+D
and got snubbed for BF as usual-.- PEOPLE STOP IT.irritated.
i'm single coz i CHOOSE to be-.- thanks alot-.-
watched Underdog! typical cliche american movie.But its quite funny.its direct at least.i like tat style+D
anyways it was quite interesting to be at their place+D
epic failure of the day happened?+D
LOLS.
basically mum made some kinda spicy drumlets tat taste good+D
i was ohkay since i had APPLE JUICE+D
but poor Alex and Marcus didn't+D
AleX:this is spicy siax.
MarCus:Then don't eat lah.
AleX:Don't want,it tastes too good.
......-.-......
seriously epic fail to listen-.-
Whoo.Magic show end liao.must go and do notes!+D
Love you+D and IceDreamS!+D
[Ice CreamS+Sweet DreamS=ICEDREAMS+D]
yah,i'm random+D
AbiGaiL+D

2010-05-21T05:09:00.000-07:00

HeartBroken+D
this time in a good and bad way!+P i spend WAY too much for today liao-.-
Stuff i did and bought-.-
1. MacS Lunch [5.50+P upsized+GREENTEA+D]
2.Jubeat!+D lucky only once-.- otherwise my nails are gone.they are almost there already.
3.EachACup-OREO CRUSH+D mini pearls+D second to white mocha+D YUM.
4.STATIONARY+D [$6-200piece B5 foolscap for notes+1.95?PINK MARKER+D]
5.3.80[i tink?] dessert Story Mango Snow Ice+D
6.3.90-Nail Polish Remover+D
7.Initial D and TC4 wif Alvin [1.50 coz he tried and failed to treat me-.-+D]
Yah.See why??? ARGH.i am goin to starve to save.i dun care.
i dun regret buying! but its like...SO MUCH-.-
Oh well+D
LOLS.its a good diet anyways!+D
AbiGaiL+D

2010-05-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

dunno whether its lucky or not+D this post is post 44 since my blog died.
and u know wat.i am kinda pround of tat!+D after all.its been like only 2 months!+D
LOLOLOLS.it also means.ABIGAIL GET OFF UR BLOGGER AND DO WORK.
well.i am bored.So i decided to jux slack alittle for now.before i restart+D
Today was an epic failure day.and i am not goin to even bother writing here my thoughts.
Coz the people who care already know and the people who don't will continue to not care+D
LOLS.no offence to people i am not really keeping in touch with.its tat today was really epic fail.
and Sorry Yuuki-kun T.T really,i didn't want to cancel.i really feel guilty for that.
As well as to 1A01.Sorry.even though it doesn't make a difference and you guys all understand.
Still.Really sorry.
Ohkays..i dun wanna say sad stuff.So let's say RANDOM stuffie+D
HOORAY.i managed to finish the blessed CSA.now stuck wif ACWrite,because i have no idea wat to write+D
So.i am goin to really jux spam,but make the spam look so good+D LOLS.
POLY IS SO VAGUE ON THE INSTRUCTIONS.
[jux write ur sources and info and ur plan-.-]
[rite.as if we kno.]
Sighs.Wat to do?
WRITE WRITE WRITE.+D
Love and NightS!+D
AbiGaiL+D

2010-05-19T22:07:00.001-07:00

i am so angry..and i am so sorry. i wonder if u people will see it.i wonder if u understand.

2010-05-19T17:31:00.000-07:00

Hmm.I am so bored-.-
Brought my com to TP today,and i already know when i get back home tonight i am goin to be exhausted.
Oh well.not as if i can do much abt it.
Today i MUST finish both CSA and ACWrite.which is kinda scary.there's alot to be done.
i jux wanted to write this before i go and do the work!+D
LOLS.My bro went to skip his cohort camp because he didn't really want to go,and there was a MAJOR fuss from my mum and dad about it.Since its part of school curriculum-.-
BUT in the end they let him as he wanted+D
Turns out that about 1/3 of the entire cohort didn't go in the end-.-
Super wasted if u ask me.and seriously epic failure-.-
the most epic part abt the entire fiasco was tat they asked them to write a REFLECTION on why they choose to skip the camp,which my bro gave this epic reply-.-
[I appreciate what the school has done to provide this camp,however,i feel that it is not interesting/the activities are not fun etc.?[i'm not sure-.-],hence if the school were to arrange such an event again,i will not go-.-]
Umm.i like to say i'm kinda proud of my bro?+D Best reply ever.Its more succinct than tat though.
i forgot-.- LOLS.Its like complimenting then complaining+D i remember sec4 they made us write a reflection too+D it ended up in me complaining abt every single facility!+D LOLS.but i ended up writing that the camp was fun+D coz 4-10 was there!+D LOLOLOLS.tat was really nice+D
ohkays! ACWRITE-.-
seeyoul8r!+D
AbiGaiL+D

41st Post+D

2010-05-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

41st Post!+D
LOLS.First two numbers of 4-10!+D So its commemorable?+D
Hmm.oh well.
I am SUPPOSED to do work+D slacking a little now..
today it was RAINING when i woke up,and when i got to school
i thought tat,well,the rain seriously comes when i need it the most.
when i am emo+D of course,i was kinda shivering after tat.
SINCE SOMEONE WENT AND BLASTED THE AIRCON AT MAX.FOR CSA.
hello.i dun want to become a CSA.thanks? definitely thanks to Saul who went and switched it back to 1+D THANKS!+D
ITS BREAK.and we have CSA&Academic Writing yet i am still on Blogger writing down my thoughts.
For one thing,my blog looks super emo.and i kinda am?
LOLS.i recovered+D no worries there!+D
i am jux a little down still,but i already decided+D
Sighs.Where's the girl tat was so strong then? i like to know where she is.
she probably "drown" the me rite now in the bathtub.
OhkayS!+D GAMBATTE.
I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE THIS BLOG INTO A SUPER EMO ONE AGAIN.
Because when i look back i dun want to think to myself[was i so pathetic to not get back up?].in fact.by then i would be really going [SHUTUP-.-]

Rite~SO.CSA and ACADEMIC WRITING! MUST WORK HARD!!!+D
[iworkhardnownotforyoursake.butformine.imadethedecisiononcebefore,i'lldoitagain.]
[Ifmerelytomoveforwardfromthisfeelingtatmakesmenearlyinsane.]
[YouBringMeUp,YouPulledMeDown,MyHeartItPounds,YahYouGotMe-.-]

:p +p :D XD +D *.* +.+ -.- ^.^ [WINNER:+D]
LoveFromAbi+D

2010-05-18T07:06:00.001-07:00

The only thing tat keeps me sane is psych,and my friends.i am so sorry for being crazy.

and i am doing my best+D so.please?

iloveyou+D

2010-05-17T06:12:00.001-07:00

i'm ohkay now.please dun be worried or anything..
Abigail's back+D

2010-05-17T02:31:00.000-07:00

i feel so heartbroken.
damn.and i dun even know why i feel this way.
is it beacuse i've felt this way before,and tat time i was so afraid,because i nearly died?
ifeellikeanidiot.no joke.
Sighs,i really want to talk.but rite now i feel so emo tat i can't talk.
not even to my clique.they are telling me to cheer up now.
kinda ironic.but i really apprecaite it.
sorry for being such an irritable girl now.
irritable and emo.
i dun even find the heart to do my speech or the psych quiz.
sighs.talk.please.
before i lose my mind.

2010-05-16T18:04:00.000-07:00

Mornings are gr8!+D
LOLS.yah,i'm kinda high.
SUPER BORED AT THE SCHOOL LIBRARY AND ANGRY AT THE SPARKPC.
Usual rite?+D LOLS. but i really do love today's morning+D
on my way to TP my dad switched on my personal compilation of Jap Songs+D
and i was basically singing all of them[my favourites wat-.-]
He was like,[i ask you to sing then u dun want.u on japanese song then you want to sing-.-]
LOLS!!Duh.i love singing Anime songs+D
in fact,God Knows came up!+D i love God Knows.its one of the songs that pulled me out of depression+D i wish i could have compiled Golden Time Lover.Tat's a good song+D BUT i can't sing it+P

Oh well+D ANYWAYS.I LOVE MY MORNINGS+D
i am goin to start work now!
REALLY.Sighs.
LOLS.SMS ME! i love smsing in lectures,though its so wrong-.-
Oh well.one small sms in 5 min for total concentration seems like an ohkay exchange?+D
Love you!+D
AbiGaiL+D
*HUGS*

2010-05-16T07:02:00.000-07:00

sorry for not writing this earlier+D
Thanks alot YUUKI-KUN[see? i even caps it+D BEAT TAT+D] for chatting with me the whole day!+D
while playing ur pool+D while i was at starbucks!+D

and to Frost-kun for the quotes.+D but its not really rite! i am jux kinda insecure+D
LOLS.i already know how to fly.but dunno how to land? LOLS!!+D

oh well.
NEED TO SLEEP.
Mum and Dad are making me write GTG as i write this+P
LOLS.fine+D
NiteS and i'll see you tmr!+D

LOVED.and LOVES YOU+D
AbiGaiL+D

2010-05-16T06:38:00.000-07:00

i should be grateful.So why am i not?
its much better than i deserve.
LOLS! OHKAYS.I HAVE TO BE HIGH.
MUST! i dun wanna worry people again+D
Hmm.today was super wasted. i basically slacked the whole day+D
i read through all my stuff,and understood it+D
BUT i didn't do work!
i shld have jux brought the com with me-.-
SO.TMR i am goin to use the stupid spark and write my academic writing+D
today i am goin to do my best and finish the speech,then read up on the academic writing and finish reading cognition and language-.- I actually forgot-.-

Ohkays.i am sleepy and tired and really emo abt nothing.
i wish i could talk.its only when my epicness and randomness disappears do i really miss it.
Love you+D
AbiGaiL+D

2010-05-15T02:46:00.000-07:00

am i going mad? i really dunno.

and Alaine.thanks for like making me sane.i know i am on the verge of madness.

Love.Someone teach me that.i dun seem to be able to understand even the theory of it.

Ax2+Bx+C=Love?

[1/2*Selfishness]+[250%*Commitment]=love?

Sighs.yah.i am going mad.

World is mine..I am the no.1 princess of your heart?

if not then wat's the point,if i am second-.-?

I always want to be your number one.Stop looking at me that way. and believe when i say my feelings are genuine.

even if i dun understand them.

[Zeora]

Heys+D
umm.tat was written when i was super emo for abt a while.+D
well.i am like having bipolar,LOLS.Sudden highs and Sudden Lows.
LOLS!
well,i have to thanks Yuuki-kun and YT and Alaine for keeping me SANE!+D
thanks! but seriously.this sudden high and low is like making people around me worried.and me worried for my mental health state as well!
i dun want to see alaine at IMH during her holiday internship there!
[btw.i am epically jealous+D i want to go see!+D]
as in i dun want to be a PATIENT.i want to be the DOCTOR there+D
LOLS! well.no offence intended to any patients there.
ohkays.
today basically got home arrest?
LOLS.i was at home the whole day. and on com most of it+D
*CHATTED* to yuuki-kun and alaine!+D
[alaine,SHH.DUN U SAY ANYTHING+D]
asked stupid and random questions tat were on my mind.
talked abt barney and crossdressing and LOADS of epic stuff!+D
loving convos with u people!+D the best ever+D

i feel like changing my account to tumblr..+D
LOLS.maybe zeoraland.tumblr? or epicness.tumblr?[thanks YT!+D]
or maybe jux winthegameoflife.BUT so long,its goin to be jux plain irritating.
OOH.abichan.tumblr.SUPER EASY.+D

one day i shall be hardworking enough to do it!+D
LOLS.
hmm.final thoughts;
I worked hard for someone i never met again,
and now i seem to be working hard for someone that i can never be with.
am i being an idiot for hoping too much,for loving you too much?
i want to wake up.i want to cry and get it over.
So that my thoughts,my dreams.they won't star u in them anymore.
and you know this is so ironic.
i will end up doing that..and the warmth is always there.
its jux never for me.

Even though I was supposed to be pursuing the continuation of my dream

I stumble over other people on a narrow, winding road

It's not that I want to return to how it was like back then

I'm searching for the sky that I've lost

I wish that you'll understand me

Stop making that sad face like you've been sacrificed

There aren't tears at the end of sins

I've painfully bore them all this time

In the labyrinth of emotions where I can't see the exit

Who am I waiting for?

As if having written it in a white notebook

I want to divulge myself more honestly

What do I want to flee from?

...Something known as reality?

What am I living for?

In the middle of night when I seem to forget about it

Because I can't be doing it safe and sound

...There's no place for me to return to, either

Isn't my life still too long

For erasing these thoughts?

I even welcome such a pain

That turns nostalgic

I've got to apologize, yeah, I'm sorry

Unable to express it well, you were worried

Because I won't give an order

To everything that I held on that day and everything that I'll hold tomorrow

I wish that you'll understand me

I quietly closed my eyes; I can even see the things that I don't want to see

Who remarked that it's the first time they heard unneeded rumors?

When we face toward each other, we're friends, so stop lying

My red heart is burning inside of my body as if it irritates me

The truth is, I'm looking forward

...To something known as reality

I'm alive so that I can fulfill myself

I feel like shouting so; can you hear me?

Because I can't be doing it safe and sound

...There's no place for me to return to, either

I'm always grateful for kindness

So I want to become strong (I'm on the way)

I even welcome friends and foes

For the sake of moving on

I'm thinking about how to open the next door

A story that can't be pulled back anymore is starting

So wake up, wake up.

[AGAIN.YUI.]

2010-05-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

YayS.I am finally HIGH.
ThankS 4-10!+D
OMG.Today was SCANDALOUS>.<
Seriously. So many pairings,i wonder if i can even remember!
Like..YiAn+___[ofcourse its some girl from AJC tat i dunno+D]
and the usual AiJia+Randy or +___ [some guy from AJC+D]
and Joscelin+Waifoo or +_____[Some guy form AJC+D LOLS.its GENERALISATION+D]

and from Psych also got quite a few scandals+D
Like Song+______[shall not mention here.generalisation ALL the way+D]
and umm..LOLS>.< the usual KianHao+____ +D
LUCKY ME.+D
i only got from 4-10 abt YH as usual.and apparently he got hot?
LOLS.I DON'T BELIEVE A WORD,AIJIA AND JOSCELIN+D
Sorry but i am super skeptical.its been only 4 months since i last saw him.
and sorry if u are reading this.its not tat i dun like u,but i am annoyed by all the ribbing-.-
And LOLS.AiJia has been trying VERY hard to get the name or pic of HIM now+D
too bad AiJia,no hope unless i tell you+D
+D in my phone jux mean special,or someone tat i really trust.
TOO BAD+D LOLS.

Abnormal Psych today was FUN!+D
OMG,i keep thinking abt Abnormal psych
when Yifang was saying abt some dubai girl, i was tinking
tat girl probably had her wernicke's area or broca's area was damaged,
or she had post-traumatic disorder,blah blah
EPIC CHAPTER!+D
I love it.in fact i'll read before i sleep tonite!+D

LOLS.i have to end now..MSN+D
and i jux wanna end by;
Thanks Alvin and Bryant and Saul and Sin Yan and Song and basically all of 1A01!+D

Alvin;the thanks come from me+D i was able to get unemo coz i thought of everything and realised i am being an idiot for thinking so much.Face problems and people right on,and be confident of the future+D

Bryant;for like keeping up with my randomness!+D i have been really down,but i feel much better after chatting with you+D ThankS!+D especially for the unexpected jubeat treat+D

Saul;for accompanying us!+D the more the merrier,always+D sorry so emo today+D

SinYan;for tolerating my emoness and for laughing with us all!+D

Song;heys+D thanks for letting me be high and have fun around you+D Sorry for always poking you!! I REALLY HAVE TO LIKE BREAK THIS HABIT!+D

YK;heys,thanks alot for dropping by and tagging+D LOLS.its been a while since i was in contact wif 6honesty ppl+D ThankS!+D

1A01!+D THE BEST AND MOST EPIC CLASS+D
i love everyday because everyday i come to class smiling already,and when i leave there's still a smile that lingers+D ThankS Everyone!+D

"but where do i go?"

"Out of my sight-.-"

[StaR Trek+D]

Love you!+D

AbiGaiL+D

2010-05-13T07:51:00.000-07:00

YAWNS.Yah.i dunno why but i am exhausted.and my shoulders hurt.Like got some heavy burden-.-
Psych today was FUN+D
and i ate so many hello panda biscuits. ThankS Alvin for like having epic reflexes+D
and ThankS Song and KianHao for finishing it+D and my chili fries! Lucky-.- or my throat would have killed me.
i love psychology+D
OH.and Artemis Fowl and the Atlantis Complex is like goin to be OUT!
YAY.i love reading.and i know the title is horrible,like some kid's.
BUT it incorporates psych and physics+D
and I LOVE TAT TTM!!!+D yah.i sound mad+D
in fact,today in psych sth from artemis fowl came up. THE POWER OF SUGGESTION+D

Jubeat today with Bryant*Yuuki+D and Yes,i am sorry for dragging 5 people with me-.-
Sorry-.- to everyone...making u guys wait.and i felt horrible.-.- Forgive me please!!+D
although i have to admit,loving jubeat+D Alvin start playing too!!+D
and as usual i love kachanging with everyone+D sorry grumpy girl today-.- i am tired.
went to starbucks with alvin for studying psych.i managed to do abit!+D LOLS.ended up chatting and shivering,and we went looking around+D i ended up buying so much-.- its not good for my wallet..-.-

Hmm.at least i have a life.and its a DAMN GOOD ONE+D
ohkays.studying psych and chatting now!+D
and dun give me tat skeptical look.i really am studying!+D
LOVES.HUGS.No kisses,too bad+D i'll always keep my heart for you,jux not my lips+D
LOLS!! Love from AbigaiL+D

2010-05-11T20:54:00.000-07:00

CSA+D
Muahaha,its the one and only lesson that i can blog in+D
and it helps me from falling asleep.YAWNS.
its not that effective yet.Saul is playing some beat beside me,and tat's more effective somehow.
OMG.weird tune jux came up! LOL-ing.YAY.Starting to get HIGH.
but of course its kinda impossible.Today's the STATS TEST.and i'm an idiot-.-
ARGH!!!! i studied alittle yesterday before lecture,but ARGH.
going to study again in the 4hr break.and i have finally appreciated it.for this one day.
GTG!!! its LUNCH.
and yes,thanks lot bryant for making me hungry and now all i have are granolas+P
MUST DIET.i won't grow fat-.-

and get here soon Alvin!!!!+D LOLS.he overslept.so sad.. wasted..3hr break?+D
LOLS.in a complicated relationship so cannot work-.-
same for me.jux tat i decided liao+D
ALWAYS.
WORKING HARD FOR HIM..
i am surprised tat only AiJia has come to make fun of it+D
ohkays+D i GTG!!+D
Love you always.+D
AbiGaiL+D

ThankS+D

2010-05-10T17:54:00.000-07:00

♥HeyS everyone+D everyone that's reading this,that is+D
umm,yah..sorry.its kinda awkward for me to even type it-.-
LOLS!+D Ohkays.i'll get serious and write it+D

THANK YOU REALLY REALLY REALLY MUCH!!!+D
wheew.that wasn't the hard part though-.-
These few days i have been like super emo-.-
From TGIF to Monday Blues!+D LOLS.[and its not tat time of the month....-.-]
Its more of jux my emotions being abit weird and all.which is still weird since usually this shldn't be even a problem..+D
:P Anyways i feel much better now.Sorted out my thoughts properly and all that+D
and as usual i came back to the same conclusion.Same decision as before..
[Working Hard for Him.Always.]
Yah,if there are any 4-10ers reading this they'll all be gving the;
[Yah,its Abigail.Confirm plus Guarantee stamp+D]
since i practically wrote this on every foolscap i ever got+D
i still remember everything,of course. My lowest point.But my grades highest point+D
Still.Not really worth it,all the emoing and all the pain.Its much better to jux happily live everyday.
and as for him,i'm sure he would have the same idea? i dunno..but then again.its jux instincts.
So..well,yah+D I AM GOING TO GET HIGH EVERYDAY,LIVE MY EVERYDAY.
in other words i am going to start studying like hell+D
I can't wait to start+D
Today's the Impromptu Speech Test! I am not nervous,but a little worried at the topics.
hello.the last one i did was abt WOMEN SHLD GO FOR NS.
WTF topic.no offense intended,but its really sux.
I HATE RUNNING AND U EXPECT ME TO SURVIVE NS???
ARGH.worst of all is the fact tat my only weakness is jux tat.
and stretching maybe.but tats it-.-
Horrible.
Well,i better get ready by doing some stats practice and reading some notes i made for Public Speaking+D

To end this post+D
1st+D i want to say a special thankyou to Alvin,Bryant,Joseph,Song and YuTing+D as well as my Deli-Potato and Ally+D
You shldn't have had to deal with my stupid emoness-.- i'm fine now+D

2nd+D If you ever end up emo and needing a listening ear,or jux a simple hug,Look for me+D
i am trying not to get emo,but i love to listen to your stories and i love to give hugs to you+D
No matter what happens.Friendship will always be important,and right now its more important than love even.
ThankS again for everything+D
AbiGaiL+D

2010-05-10T03:46:00.000-07:00

[trying very hard to get sian and stone-.-]
Happy and hyper?? umm,not really.
hello.i didn't get the 20/20-.- KH doesn't read this.thank god.
So i can happily write watever i want.and i bet my cash that no one understands anything that i jux wrote.+D
its a kind of internal conflict and convo.do if u understand,u are probably someone who understands people WAY too much for you own benefit-.- i suggest u change ur profession+D
and YAH.i am obviously and super emo.if i wasn't then i obviously wouldn't be blogging much-.-
Afterall.it seems that i am always writing here abt emo stuff.if not i would be happily studying like i did last nite.
Which,btw was actually nice.No thoughts,no emotions,jux work.too bad it couldn't last.
and by the end of this post-.- i hope to feel better?
i dunno.i am like jux spamming here with alvin looking at watever i am writing,
he's trying to decipher it.i doubt it...LOLS.he said he already did-.-
LOLS.understanding me is easy i suppose?
who knows? i mean. well,if u understand me i like tat i suppose?
but i dunno.since i dunno about myself..i want only him to understand though.
and that is like so freakingly impossible..
i can almost give up.
and i am thankful for your encouragement..its jux that i can't say it,no matter how much i keep telling myself to jux try merely because it doesn't coz me anything?
psych says that people are more willing to take risks that don't hurt them.
i say that even so i still dun want to take the risk.
because the result,no matter positive or negative seems to show that i can never jux put up this facade and expect everyone to believe in it.especially him. and i dun want to do that either.its a horrible payment for everything.
Sighs.Your thoughts?
as quoted from saul, say wat u wan, and the ppl who matter to u wun matter, u dun hav to base ur ownself to others, but urself. darkness isnt there until there is light, just like light and shadow. the light is always there, but ur just blocking it away and lying in the dark. until u move that object away, only then u can see the light. but even then, have u thought, how did darkness look like, dark, gloomy. didnt u ever realised u can see darkness? because light is there unknowningly showing u wat darkness is, so wat's stopping u to walk out into the light. u dun hav to think so much to understand who u are, just believe who u wan to be, who u are currently, follow ur heart, and u found that answer u always wanted. it takes time, as i nvr did found mine, but at least im moving forward, but wat about u. why are u stopping? it isnt str, but it is ur own instincts.
instincts huh...?
well,is suppose that's kinda true. the qn now isn't what i deem myself,nor is it wat others deem of me.
for that particular problem was already solved long ago..i decided at that clock tower that day before i left finally that i would simply keep walking, and jux follow my dreams and aspirations and hope.
infact,i would say that the obstacle in my path,in the light of the future would be my own feelings.merely because of them i have been deterred from this path that i chose on my own.and i feel that no matter what happened i find myself able to smile still.the smile is real..the only thing about everything is nothing,or is it anything? Sighs.Simple philosophical questions,yet can bring up the most complicated of answers?
At least i know that i can trust my own instincts to guide me on that path once more.its jux whether it could give me the strength to never look back.

[mixed memories.mixed thoughts? thinking too much may be the question that the opposition presents,butu i would say the question should be,do i feel too much?]

As an added note,sorry to everyone who had to read through all of it...its actually a convo between me and alvin before debates!+D i was jux spamming my thoughts with him,sth like that?+D
LOLS+D

[ZeoraDreamStaR*Luna]

2010-05-09T20:34:00.000-07:00

Why,why,why,why,why.
Why the hell am i so desperately always thinking about it,about you,about everything.
The only thoughts that truly want to be known are the words FORGET and REGRET.
Because i am so afraid to trust,so afraid of the future,so afraid of what's possible.
They say that loopholes were made so that people could escape the punishment of justice.
But i jux end up feeling that these loopholes,some of them were made for justice.
Made so that those who suffer the wrong have that chance to close their eyes to the world and flee.
Although the world's order dictates that we are never able to flee from the harshness,from the cruelty of the world.
After all,you can't jump into the darkness and not expect light.Every darkness comes with light,and every rain comes a better day.
I want to trust you.So much till i fear it.
please,please,please,please,please.Someone tell me,teach me how to love,how to treasure,how to forget.
Since this seems to be the only way to let others in.I can't do it alone,because i feel like an idiot for doing so.
I can't cry with you when you cry,but i can sit there and comfort you while you do it.
and i can't tell you that i loved you,because right now my heart is still missing.even i don't know where it is.

[please,if u are enlarging this to read-.- know these are merely random thoughts of the morning...+D]

2010-05-09T07:49:00.000-07:00

WHOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes.I am HIGH+D and wouldn't you if you got a 19/20,20/20,20/20+D
LOLS!! i know its kinda early to fully celebrate successes+D but its a good start!+D
I SUDDENLY LOVE MY MAX.[MACINTOSH+D]
LOLS!!! too high liao.sorry+D

Oh yah!+D
Must remember to SPAM this here since i have the space[obviously+D]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG!!!!!!!!!!+D
Sorry that i dun kno how to write all the [May you...]
Since i already know you are most likely going to have a great year with all of us!+D
LOLS.i know ppl with eyes searching for loopholes and detail are so going to notice that.
JUX IN CASE+D

Ohkays,i have to go.
My parents and my brother are sleeping on the tatami in the living room
because their aircon are spoilt,and my mum can't take the heat liao.
THANK GOD I HAVE MY OWN ROOM.
today is one of those days i am very grateful for my father's education.

OhkayS!+D
NITES!+D see you tmr+D
AbigaiL+D

2010-05-08T10:49:00.000-07:00

i never ever wanted to forget,and my only wish was that i could remember you.
but in the end,time has its own plans for me and made me all so infuriated-.-

i am so afraid of failure.in fact,to be honest,i am more afraid of losing you.
When you told me that the truth was always hidden.When i asked if we would ever meet again.
You kept your mouth shut and stared at the board.I kept my mouth shut thanks to this fear.
SILENCE.

i want to sleep.very much.as well as watch anime.
BUT quiz 3 is preventing all tat. how do i watch peacefully knowing i got only 15??
ARGH!!!!!!! RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=[horrible,i hate it,i wish it was a freaking 20.etc.]

Forgotten Memories awoken..

2010-05-07T08:31:00.000-07:00

Firstly.i like to state that this blog is irritating. i wrote an entire HEARTFELT ESSAY and it happily deleted it.
WHY??? Because someone used their FB to CHAT TO ME.DAMN.
Ohkay.I shall make the effort to write it again.
I AM DAMN IRRITATED!!! LOLS.this isn't the opening line.i promise+D

i suppose any reader of this would be thinking sth along the lines of;
Yes,i empathise with you.Move on.

So..i guess u are thinking abt the title of the post?
well..its kinda cause i wanted to write something meaningful,and it kinda fit even though,yes,its ironic.

Firstly, i like to take this opportunity on my blog to say;
Before i start saying abt my life..
i jux want to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH to all my friends and to everyone who has trusted me and supported me.
Because you people are the ones that make this life on Earth worth it,worth all the pain that i have suffered and will suffer. Life is cruel and not easy..yet this naive and childish girl believes that we can survive it. Hope and belief is never enough to prove it.Only Strength. and today i found out about something i never expected to be honest. There isn't any pity,nor sympathy, and some empathy for some things. i know already that you don't want it either. There is only a sadness and wishes from my heart.

i wish that such things never occured...the sadness in your eyes and the way you sound so aloof about it made me sad..because it feels as though you were trying to make me un-sad. Ironic and maybe wrong.i don't know. Maybe i am an idiot in reading people. Sighs. That's why i am in Psychology rite?+D
Still.Admire your Strength. Its kinda inspirational for me,who had thought that i was strong.now i find myself wrong..my strength seems like nothing in retrospective to be honest.[am i writing this rite?]+D
Anyways.I jux wanna say that i am glad we met, and i am glad that you moved on happily, and i am glad that you trust me. Trust and Friendship is something i treasure heavily in my heart..you know why already+D

To so-called happier train of thoughts?
umm.Today's CCN day was interesting.
for one thing. I really like Jia Man's class project.3-D cube tat looks gr8 and its made by the entire class,because all of them folded one part of it. So cool!!+D in fact i really want to buy one+D
the most sophisticated and simplistic object of today..beautiful.

hmm.i am watching a show,and the girl was so so upset,because the guy abandoned her at the wedding.
if it was me.i won't forgive. Running away is so wrong. i know someone is going to hit me and say;[you ran away for your lessons wat!!!!!!] and i agree-.- LOLS.i care abt my studies more than my conscience for tat scene-.- I am so SORRY.

and.to those who kno what i am talking abt..the event at CS today and Yesterday at TM was epic.
today especially!+D we went to study and ended up playing+D EPIC! and double chocolate is SO NICE. but its caffeine is strong and the bitter chocolate too...i say on par with my fav white+D LOLS.
and i wanna say; I LOVE 1A01!!!!!!!!!!+D thanks for like keeping up wif my epicness and randomness!
My Some Family too!+D I LOVE AND MISS YOU GUYS...!!+D

i jux wanna end off with something tat used to be in my old blog.
SIMPLICITY+SOPHISTICATION=PERFECTION
LOVE+YOU=MY WISH COME TRUE.

ijuxwantedtobehappywithyou.
AbiGaiL+D
ZeoraDreamStaR*AbiGaiL*SomeBlahZ*childish&Naive,butSmart&Chio&Pro&EPIC.+D

CSA= Cold,Shivering AbigaiL+P

2010-05-04T20:05:00.000-07:00

OMG.TNS all over again.
*i am seriously shivering again...My stupid decision to wear such a thin dress.*
DAMN.and LOLS,alvin took the topic we wanted+D
so we might have to end up doing about Singapore Logistics Blah blah. LOLS. Not exactly very encouraging.
No one wanted anything involving Singapore,LOLS. the topic we wanted was about a travel agency-.-
ohkay.its now confirmed-.- Alvin's group wanted 3+P LOLS.Sorry i am such a sore loser-.-
Ohkays.Now starting.and i end up asking myself if i can even survive this. another 1 & 1/2 Hr, and my skin is already turning BLUE.Damn.i really shld ask someone for his jacket-.- but alvin is the only one i know that has one and he's ill. i am about to get ill to at this rate.My allergy to cold is already acting up...my hands are now red+.+

The only knowledge that is keeping me alive and awake here is the fact that after this,and after i chiong my Function of Pain, i am going to go and play Jubeat+D i haven't played since first day or so? i don't really remember.. i tink its since i first went to eat ice kacang with alvin and song? Sighs.its been a while already+D

Then i have to come back for Stats...and debates. i dunno abt debates,i'll see how. i am really tired and afraid for Function of Pain..l8r really need to DO and DO WELL!
COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD.

i can't wait to gte out of here and eat sth before goin to library to do my essay.
DESIGN OR MENSA.+D
GTG do the excel crap-.- LOLS.i dun mean it.but i really am cold till irritable+D
AbigaiL+D

2010-05-02T18:46:00.000-07:00

Sighs.I think i really am going mad-.-
Well.Nothing much i can do to regain my sanity but to study rite.
So.Moving On.Its always kinda interesting to see how people have different perspectives of the same thing,and how people simply choose not to move on substantially. And i'm pretty sure by now i have lost you already-.-
Sometimes we simply find that at least when someone has the same perspective as you;you feel relief,and you are ever so grateful..and thanks alot Meow for that+D too bad you can't see amazing CAPS status he wrote that basically asked me never to talk to him again-.- LOLS.i don't care anymore.Its his life,not mine.

Moving On~ My life is more interesting now with more colours~
Literally,since my nails are now Neon Green and PINK.+D They Look nice+D jux that i am unwilling to erase my BLUE,and the blue is kinda clashing.+D but nvm.
My Hands.My choice.+D

Sighs.Sianing now at library doing some APEL WS.
and i couldn't help but wish someone was here beside me or online so i could have sth else to do other than think. Because my mind is already in a whirl..It doesn't need extra spinning-.-

Hmm.This blog is so biring isn't it? Jux a girl's random thoughts,troubles,and her unrequited feelings..
And i keep telling myself to move on. So why the heck haven't i? and for that matter,why haven't you?
Its so conflicting that half of me jux wants to stay here and never return..memories of both happy moments and moments when i ended up upset is numerous..i jux want to be happy from now on. Never regret again.

AbiGaiL+D

2010-05-01T04:48:00.000-07:00

My lyrics,My Voice. Your beat. Our Song.

LOLS.Yah.Super random+D it jux came out naturally while i was writing my notes+D
and LOLS.STARBUCKS IS SO CROWDED ON HOLIDAYS.
oh.and my brother actually planned to go to the library.Lucky i was jux goin to drop off my books and go starbucks for frappucino,because today,being a public holiday,IS CLOSED.and he happily went to the arcade and his friend's place-.-
Studied alittle only,coz my heart wasn't in it and because of today's damned HOT weather i had headaches and basically couldn't study-.- jux made some notes,read through some of the material.I guess my SOME is so often is practically saying *Abigail ended up having 3 hours at starbucks using WirelessSG to Facebook.Because she was damn bored,and kept having temptations abt 1.Buying a cinnamon muffin or something,it smelt DAMN NICE. 2.Go downstairs and buy some more nail polish[i already bought neon pink and hot pink] maybe BLUE.SHINY.+D 3.SMS people when my quota already reached. BTW.i broke 3.+D*

On a side note.Since this is a real post+D
Loving my life now.And i can't wait for the future to bring even better events to me+D
My heart and my mind is so unsynced this afternoon.So conflicted as i thought through everything.
but i made a decision when i saw the railway once more..the same railway i crossed daily in sec 3 and 4.
It was the first place i had ever sung at...with passion i guess.Because it was there when i first told myself,Yes.I am going to give it my all,going to make sure i never ever regret this ever again.Mind over Heart,always. My passion has waned,but it has come back+D i was singing the songs tat echoed my thoughts,loud and clear,once more.

Today was jux a thinking day+D I didn't get weak,my friend.
Afterall,i am strong.Strong enough to tell myself tat i shldn't tink abt the past anymore.
Which reminds me.
Bro,i am always here for you..The past and those conflicts are now long gone.Fear of something because of the consequences is called conditioning...don't condition yourself to have tat fear for the unknown..it will be alright in the end+D and MEET UP+D BTW.let's move on...i already have.I'll pull u along with me+D i didn't even remember his existence till i saw him again. Then i realised our smiles,our laughs,weren't even worthy of him.+D

i love everyone..and i trust you all,my friends+D
AbiGaiL+D

2010-04-30T10:24:00.000-07:00

you bring me up,you pull me down..my heart it pounds,yah you got me..
LOLS.
Random quoting since random songs are running through my mind now..
and i was watching anime,so i am emo now-.-
i am goin to SLEEP.and tmr i'm goin to do my best and mug and study for everything!+D
I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE DEFEAT LYING DOWN.LITERALLY.FROM NOW ON I READ AT THE TABLE,NOT MY BED+D
hmm.i am so sleepy..+D
i jux wanna say this before i go to Zeoraland+D
i dun tink i regret my decision to come to psychology. in fact if there was regret,it would be only because of external reasons+D
Oh well.I am so tired.NEED SLEEP.
NITES!+D

♥Psych+D

2010-04-27T20:08:00.000-07:00

Muahaha,its CSA lesson and i am blogging on my com.Makes the lugging around worth it hopefully+D
Its quite easy for now,doing jux some basic excel stuff tat i used to play around with as a kid+D i forget alot already though.Jux doing watever she says+D its not super boring at least.
Saul is playing checkers now+.+ and now we are jux formatting the raw stuff that we got+.+
The colour is pretty at least. BLUE and ORANGE+D HSS COLOUR!!!!+D

Listening to Taking back my love as usual+D and watching videos on youtube now+D LOLS.yah i sound random coz there was a LONG time difference+D now my break's over..+D
LOLS.and again bored.trying to download songs l8r+D
and ITS WARM+.+
RANDOMMESS+D not a post anyways+D

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

2010-04-27T09:21:00.000-07:00

LOLS.So long never update liao,plus i am ALWAYS too lazy to actually change my blogskin.
Sorry for having to deal with it people.But know tat i have to do the same-.- since i need to reread and think about how stupid i was once.MUAHAHAHA.+D
Its midnite and i am writing since as usual i am emo and reading my tagboard makes me feel happy+D Yups,i am really happy now that psych has started and i find myself being able to relax everyday in class while concentrating+D its a nice change+D and CHANGE IS CONSISTENTLY NICE+D

The people in my class 1A01 are really friendly and open,kinda grateful for that since i am always talkative and quiet-.-i know.its a paradox.Don't ask,i have no idea why either+D
and MY +D IS LIKE SO COPIED NOW+.+ IT ORIGINATED HERE PEOPLE+D LOLS!!!+D
hmm,random thoughts are like bursting to life in my head,so the train of thought is like twice as fast as usual+D Feel like thanking people!+D

ThankS to Alvin for like taking the train wif me all the way from greeeeen to reeeeed line~ LOLS,really thanks alot!+D Its nice to have company+D better then stoning and sleeping+.+ Maybe not if i was really tired+D yups.Random.+D

ThankS to Saul for like making me Not the only person from the west!!+D WEST SIDE ROCKS!!!+D LOLS,i am jux grateful for everything+D Let's definitely have an ice-cream day,its so awesome.i love the idea~ and next time i will rmb to buy a tub back.PROMISE.+D
ThankS to Song for like being able to withstand my randomness[or randommess???+D] all the time, as well as the elbowing. You seriously need to EAT.too thin,tat's why u are so affected+D i won't hit you anymore if i can! REMIND ME.+D

ThankS to KianHao for,i dunno,joining Pacesetters[HOPEFULLY+D],TPSU[HOPEFULLY],and defnitely let's aim for HSSSC MAIN COM.VICE PREZ FOR ME AND PREZ FOR YOU+D LOLS.this thanks is pretty epic+D Loads of CAPS.+D

ThankS to Eddie and QiXiang for inviting me for Breakfast!!+D RANDOM THANKING.My brain is like so sleepy now...
Goin to work hard tomorrow as usual!!!+D Ohkays,restarting.I am so slacking lah+P
GAMBATTE!!!!
LoveS,HugS and SMILES!+D
AbiGaiL+D SomeblahZ.abi-chan.APPLE.+D

First Day TMR! [Runs around like siao?+D]

2010-04-18T05:15:00.000-07:00

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Yah,i am terrified,petrified,afraid,shaking at the knees,trembling like a kid on her first day.
Well...actually its not so extreme,but i really am terrified.
I mean its first day...and i really have no idea what to do,except turn up?+D
LOLS.But i really wish someone could tell me what to do to feel better.
I already read the latest manga,watched the animes i am chasing for,checked FB.
SO.HOW??? LOLS. i am going to do Psych notes l8r,and redraw my timetable for my files.
i tink tat'll calm me down+D and i am trying to ZIHIGH.at least for a while,jux to get the fear out of my system.Because its so unnatural..i dun like feeling this way.I am a strong girl rite?
First day of Poly only..no kick compared to wat i've gone through.
LOLS+D
hmm,before i go back to fussing abt first day still+P
i wanted to write this post with some,hmm,observations i keep thinking these few days..
Kinda like revelations? i am not so sure.. and this Blog is like so dead.Really.
Like an aging phoenix? LOLS.Ohkays,START+D

#1*People nowadays really are becoming..self-centred? i mean as in like in our dog-eats-dog kind of society its really sad..saw an old lady tryin to sell tissue in the middle of the road at Bugis and i really felt bad for her. Then i saw some of the silver generation like doing some simple jobs.. I know that the government is tryin to encourage more of them to go back to work such jobs,and i myself helped my grandma clean a nail parlour when i was young.But its still sad.i dun even know why.
#2*i really really really need to start studying again.i mean i tried doing some amaths again,and it took me 2 tries to get it rite.i dun like tat,i prefer it rite all in 1 go.Otherwise like so wasted..+P LOLS.EXCEPT for notes.Since i love doing notes,making them nice eye candy~+D
#3*I really am changing...i used to love dreaming,but now i find myself alittle comprehensive..as if i am afraid of my own thoughts. i used to play Jubeat for the fun of it,but now i find myself playing because it can sort of vent my anger and calms me down and makes me happy..I want to play Jubeat because i love how jubeat shows my heartbeat i suppose?i dunno how to explain.but even i dun get it.i jux love Jubeat.End of story+D
#4*Alot of people i know seem to be wishing they can't fall in love,or they didn't,or they wouldn't..and u know what's the most ironic thing?i am goin to be one of them siax.I really
dun want to..maybe because i dun want to feel tat way anymore.Jux like everyone else.
by *that way* i dun mean as in heartbroken or watever.i dun tink i have been heartbroken before.i jux dun want to have to feel tat reluctance,tat way of dependence towards someone.i rather be cold and cry those tears at midnite and steel my heart for me to be strong.LOLS.i sound so melodrama+D

OHKAYS.GOING TO POST NOW.TELL ME UR THOUGHTS.+D
i am always interested in ppl's thoughts.i chose psych for this reason.+D
LOVE,ABIGAIL!!!!+D LOLS,ZIHIGH AGAIN!+D

SomeShin's BIRTHDAY!!! WHOOOHOOOOO~

2010-04-07T06:58:00.000-07:00

Muahaha!!! its me Abi-Chan here~

well,duh.no one else uses this blog+D
SO!!!! BIG ANNOUNCEMENT+D
yesterday we[apples and somes] went to celebrate my bro's birthday~
which was really fun and awesome even though i ended up damn angry with the taxi+P
LOLS,ohkays,in the morning my dad dropped me outside his company coz no choice,he was goin to his meeting liao+P i waited for 518 and talked to my bro,who actually decided to PAY FOR MY CAB RIDE ALL THE WAY TO TP[well,half+D].I was like super touched lah,his birthday in the end is he treat me a ride to TP.So i took a cab which cost $8,so my bro and i decided in exchange he treat me to BREAKFAST instead of me tryin to get change and all that. LOLS,while we were waiting for the bus to come,we called ShiQi via her housephone,thanks to the fact my bro had her no. when she called in for our conference+D turns out she was still sleeping!!!+D So in the end turned out that both Junior and ShiQi had overslept+D Me and CS went to eat at KFC first+D my waffles turned out ohkay with my fav tea~ CS helped me finish off the eggs with his original twister,and when Junior came he got the american twister;CS said my eggs tasted like yellow plasticine+pepper+D and both of them said that the KFC commercial is like SO WRONG+P LOLS,i feel bad for the makansutra guy,promote wrong stuff+D usually he promotes damn good food.BTW,seletar airbase[at the outskirts somewhere~]got DAMN NICE WESTERN FOOD+D Muahahaha,jux a random thought~
anyways ShiQi came and missed out on breakfast time,so we went to CS[century square~] food junction and played around with junior's DSLR and ipod touch and iphone while waiting~Gladys came and met us there+D then we went to starfactory to PLAY JUBEAT+D bought for my bro his jubeat card and 2 plays worth~ LOLS,ShiQi and Junior tried and EPIC FAIL.One song and gone liao.wasted,but at least had fun lah!+D My bro happy then ohkay liao!+D

Went to Pasir Ris via MRT and said Bye~ to ShiQi and her friend,then we went to E-hub for KBoX+D met Darwin at KBoX and sang from 2pm to 5.30pm~ Muahaha,had lots of fun~ i love singing even though i can't sing :LOLS.
After KboX fun we said bye!~ to Darwin coz he had to go home for his sis birthday~ then we MRTed all the way to VivoCity where Bryant[the guy i accidentally added on facebook thanks to CS and Junior and Jubeat+D] was waiting for us+D went to BeishanChuan seafood steamboat which was not bad+D the icecream there kinda bad though+P it froze my mouth+D LOLS.
went to daiso and realised i was SUPER late for home.No choice but to cab it.
AND THEN THE STUPID TAXI QUEUE WAS MOVING THEN STOPPED,WHY???
BECAUSE EVERYONE GOT FED UP AND CALLED FOR THEIR TAXI.AND I WAS RUSHING LIKE SIAO.MY FAMILY HAD TO KEEP CALMING ME DOWN WHEN I WAS SO PISSED AT THE TAXIS.IN THE END I SPENT SO MUCH CASH COZ I HAD TO CALL FOR ONE.now i feel bad for the taxi driver,coz i was damn strict about the way home.i dun want to apologise though,i was really worried liao.and its showing that YAY,at least i know my way around Singapore+D LOLOLS+D
and TODAY WAS EPIC.BECAUSE I SLEPT THE ENTIRE DAY.SERIOUS.I WAKE UP AT 7AM.12PM.THEN 6PM+D and had a nice dinner~ LOLS+D

OMG,i suddenly love Haru Haru~+D LOLS,maybe coz now i love the lyrics+D
and i agree with u gladys,Taking back my love is a damn nice song+D Listening to it now+D
ohkays,goin to end now coz i want to talk to u guys before i fall back to Zeoraland~
LoveS*HugS*SmileS
AbiGaiL+D
[youknowthatiamnotattachedtomaterial,i'dgiveitallup,butiamtakingbackmylove~]

boring days+D

2010-04-04T08:02:00.000-07:00

Today i was at home for practically the whole day except for the evening+D
went to orchard with my parents;while they shopped for stuffie i went to Times to take a look.no interesting books,so no choice but to wait.i have till June to use my vouchers anyways+D went for my absolute favourite white chocolate mocha venti at starbucks while using internet via Wireless.SG+D and walked out of starbucks shivering jux like how i did for TNS+D LOLS,gave my bro SomeShin a call coz need to plan for tomorrow and TueS+D
LOOKS LIKE WE ARE GONNA HAVE CONFERENCE AND FUN ON TUES!!!+D
and yes,i am low+D not high at all.
well,not unexpected either.
its usually good old intuition bringing me down+P
LOLS.NVM.
i gtg+D MSN awaits~
AbiGaiL+D

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!+D

2010-04-03T07:06:00.000-07:00

yah,i know its super obvious. i am now SIAN and trying to Zihigh. But no one is talkin to me on MSN+P
maybe even stoning~ dang.
but still,today was actually quite interesting.
I GOT A JAP EMAIL ACCOUNT.
abi_chan@live.jp is the new mail account+D i tink i am goin to intro all my new friends when term starts to the new one.its much easier to remember.Joshie actually recommended something quite cool+D
ZEORALAND.IS@LIVE.JP+D i tink its like super ironic and SUPER COOL. new name for this bloggie soon. ZEORALAND.its like mixed Zeora in Wonderland+D
MUAHAHAHAHA!!!! LOLOLOLS!~
YAY.GOT PEOPLE TALK TO ME LIAO.HAPPY!!!!+D
yups,easily satisfied?+D LOLS,not really.But i am always grateful when people have a convo with me+D

I LOVE EVERYONE!and i am goin to talk to you now+D
iloveapplepeopleiloveengineHSSdesignpeopleandiloveTPppl+D
Abi*Chan+D

2010-04-02T08:14:00.000-07:00

Today was simply EPIC FUN+D
i was at Marina Barrage,which i have never been to till today+D
i didn't expect it to be so FUN!+D PLAYED KITEFLYING TODAY!!!
and yes,i am an amateur,the last time i played was in pri4.6-7 freaking years ago+D
I have forgotten how much fun it was+D can't wait to try it again actually+D
and jux wanna say this here+D
SORRY ALAINE AND DARREN AND VIC FOR LIKE NOT BEING HIGH!!!
Yahs,i am alittle down today,like got no mood siax+D
AND THANKS ALOT FOR LIKE JIO-ING ME OUT TODAY!!!!+D
OTHERWISE I WOULD BE LIKE STUCK AT HOME MISERABLY WATCHING DRAMAS.OHKAYS,MAYBE NOT MISERABLE.[Bloody Monday lead actor is hot.and if the Grey's Anatomy guy is seriously hot i may watch+D]
STILL.THANKS SO MUCH!!! APPRECIATED LOTS AND LOTS!!!!+D

now waiting for the PHOTOS from today and yesterday to be uploaded+D
i love my new hairstyle,its like so punk and cute at the same time+D
Jux like me!!+D HAHAHAHAHA,i sound so Zilian and So thick skin siax!+D i only CHIO!!!+D LOLOLOLS!!!!+D Sorry+P ohkays,maybe not+D
Took the MRT from raffles all the way till Jurong where i met up with Eugene[BingKan!+D] and his dad came to fetch us to Teban Gardens+D
its one of the most [ulu] places ever,but the view is spectacular+D
Perfect scenery for drinking+D i drank some ice-wine,which tasted expensive and GOOD+D LOLOLS+D
then after that i went back to HOME SWEET HOME+D
then i showered,and on this lovely com to get to MSN ASAP and to BLOG.
Yah,i know i used to blog for fun and when i am emo to get the feeling off my heart..but i now find that blogging jux for fun makes life quite interesting+D
ITS LIKE HAVING A SECRET AND OPEN LANGUAGE+D
ummhmm,i like blogging+D

iloveappleppliloveTPppliloveMANGAiloveEveryone!+D
and i absolutely love ice-wine and breezer.its gr8+D
Abi*Chan+D

2010-04-01T20:12:00.000-07:00

MUAHAHAHAHAHA+D
LOLS,REBORN???+D if u check my FB there's a really weird girl in green smiling like an idiot.
AND THAT"S ME!!!+D LOLS,being part of the [ghost] engine family is SO FUN!!!+D
yups,i say it again+D
iloveapplepeopleiloveengineiloveHSSpeopleilovedesignpeopleiloveEVERYONE!!!!+D
life is so much fun without conflicts and regret.
and you know what? i realised that moving on was much much much easier then i expected.
Of course,for the first one i still haven't forgotten your name.nor your existence...
but the truth is at least it doesn't hurt anymore+D
going out for LUNCH and for MORE FUN with ALAINE[my bffL]and DARREN and VIC+D
See ya l8r~+D
Someblah*abi-chan*APPLE!!+D

PPP Last Day+D

2010-04-01T11:08:00.001-07:00

Its now 2am in the morning.
Juz two hours away from old memories...LOLS+D
yups,not really high now+D
hello,cannot high lah at 2am+D
and yes.Its obvious that i have changed.to be more open and to be more high+D
SO MUCH FUN.
I SERIOUSLY LOVE MY LIFE NOW.
Applepeople&enginepeople&HSSpeople&Orangepeople.They mean so much to me here at TP.
I was initially alone...no longer+D and i am so grateful.Thanks everyone for making this PPP gr8+D
ILOVEYOUGUYS!!!+D
AbiGaiL+D
[yes,not a post much+D i am goin to KO now.]

2010-03-27T20:25:00.000-07:00

I JUX NOTICED THIS!!!!!
OMG,Scandal's skirts in Shunkan Sentimental are the EXACT SAME one that i already have!!
Checkered Red and Black Mini!+D DAMN NICE!!!
and LOLS,i was planning to wear that today... but unfortunately due to bad planning i am not goin out+P
Dang.wasted opportunity. Oh well. I can always keep tat for monday!
But i was already planning to wear the tube sundress[black!] from langkawi with grey shrug...damn.now i am alittle conflicted+D

hmm....oh well+D moving on is as usual actually PLAIN CRAZY and FUN.
I didn't notice the pain at all until i remembered everything.
Which was kinda weird from me..i suppose+D
and you know that i am always grateful for your conversations with me till Midnite,Somewhat+D that was damn funny,your comments on everything and tat final topic!!!+D the most EPIC and crude way i have heard of a method of rejection+D
and even though you will never read this Gerry,i jux want to write that I find myself Agreeing with what ever you write as your status nowadays. it makes me realise this...
That whatever you write is exactly what i want to say to them,in the much more crude manner. Not gentlemenly or Lady-like,i know. But i can't help but agree TOTALLY AND EPIC AND Squared and CUBED. that thing you said abt friends... i totally agree,and as you can see i added in my own experience~ LOLS. my friend agreed like siao with you as well+D
AS usual its from FB,and now FB is a source of happiness and unhappiness...
LOLS.oh wells.let's jux keep getting HIGH!!!!!
i am jux glad its all over. Never burn the bridge and look back to rebuild it...because you may end up having more costs i suppose. who knows?

iloveHSSilovemangailovemyfriendsijadorepeoplewhounderstandme[although so far no one yet+D]
AbiGaiL+D and Luna+D

2010-03-27T20:00:00.000-07:00

	Abigail
	The girl who is always searching for herself. The girl who feels beautiful when spreading joy to others, but has difficulty doing so. The girl who may often fear losing her sanity, because she so often comes close to it, but you never know it because she settles quietly to the side of the room. The girl who tends to keep to herself, but if you give her reason to trust her and time to open up, and you treat with respect, then you're in for an amazing experience with a beautiful person. The girl that intimidates you, in some way or another, because of her silent power, so everyone leaves her to be alone. She is highly intuitive and creative, with a vast imagination. She is strong, intelligent, and knows what is beautiful in life. The beautiful, smart girl kept to herself, drawing in the margins of her notebook, so even the boy who recognized her beauty left her alone. She's such an Abigail. Isn't this SWEET??? Someone wrote it on urbandictionary.com+D and hmm,thanks JM for saying that i am very straightforward,strong and natural+D its very sweet of you+D Thanks R for saying i am charismatic too!!+D LOLS,i am not very sure what it actually will mean in many other aspects,but the most direct one is one i like+D THANKS!!!+D its really nice to know that people trust you and have nice first impressions of you+D even though i know some people may disagree with the above stuff...it doesn't really bother me. I mean,cherish the present rite? I am jux really grateful for everything that has happened,that has occured.It gives me something that money can never buy;experience and knowledge. ohkay,maybe not so much for knowledge. bribery and corruption is rampant in our world. I am living proof of that! Bribing my bro to get out of my room+D LOLS,suddenly loads of my friends wish they were my siblings~ LOLOLOLS!!! End off here~ since its jux a random post!+D ABIGAIL!!!+D

POIFULLLLL

2010-03-27T09:36:00.000-07:00

Today i saw the POIFUL doodle i did on my notes for JAP!!! when i was clearing up my room+D
and BTW.I AM NOW BEING BANNED From the COM. SAD RITE???+D
LOLS.NO DRAMA.NO ANIME.NO MANGA.NO EMAILS.NO FACEBOOK.NO BLOGGING.damn.

oh well.its partially my fault for the ban.Too much MSN chatting with lots of ppl+D
and its a nice reason,even if the consequences are really sad+P
LOLS. OH YAH. ARGH!!! EVERYONE IS USING MY OWN SAYINGS AGAINST ME!!!!
dang,you know its irritating when its like 3 to 4 ppl repeating EXACTLY wat i said to them+P
and its like LOLOLOLOLS at the same time.which is beyond weird feeling.+D

yups,so thanks alot KS and JM.Really appreciate it guys for like keep rubbing it in.
The fact i can't play pool and SIAN as well as trying to avoid people.
warms the heart guys! LOLOLS.

My day was normal...lunch with family,watching TV and SLACKING+D
so not much to say...Nitetime is more interesting.
BBQ downstairs by marki+D
For our nice 15th floor tall guy+D
LOLS,have fun in CANADA!!!!+D
i didn't go down though,sleepy and COMMING.

I jux wanna end off this post saying
[You never know how much time you have left.]
and [Life is challenging so that rewards are rewarding.]

OH.I almost forgot.
Specific people like me trust only a few ppl to the max.
So i really really really hope that we will always be friends..
and if you read this R,i hope that even though you trust me you can let me in+D

ilovemylittlesampaniloveHSSilovemangailovedramailovecom*Forgetting is easy with time.
AbiGaiL+D

2010-03-26T07:55:00.000-07:00

ALRIGHT!!!!!+D
Today was one of the MOST EPIC DAYS LIKE EVER.
Serious!!! I am not joking+D

we went to Hua Mei[drawing plums~ LOLS] Centre for Successful Ageing
it was really interesting,their passion for their mission and their determination.
i was really impressed by their plans as well as their goals.
Which was to allow everyone to have the chance to be the MASTER OF THEIR OWN DESTINIES
Cool rite? i love it too+D

Lunch was at Tiong Bahru Plaza Kopitiam,not that i ate anything+D
BUT its in the WEST! i thought i saw one of my pri sch acquiantences there. who knows?
anyways it was quite fun! in the sense my phone kept ringing+D
i mean its kinda hard to keep sms-ing 3 people while in class,using a touch phone..+D
but the whole day was really professional and cool
SO makes me look forward to MONDAY.PSYCHOLOGY'S DAY!!!!!+D
yups,going suntec to observe i think+D and i love the thought really+D
we were even told to dress as if we were goin SHOPPING.
AND I AM SO PLANNING TO DO JUX THAT AFTER CLASS!!!! hopefully wif HSS ppl!!!+D

its so crazy,my life.Came back from HMC,had a bit of debrief and ended at 4.30pm+D
then i was with D,J,S,and SQ for a while+D we had dinner together at Aston's which was DELISH as usual of Aston's standard.Unfortunately as usual they are a bit slow for me,who was HUNGRY+D LOLS,we chatted while waiting and eating and it was quite fun+D
After that walked back to the busstop where we said bye and nites to D and J+D
Crossed the bridge and waited for Bus 69 and my dad's car with them.
BTW!!! THANKS ALOT S and SQ!!!! I mean its really nice of you guys to like wait for me and skipping 2 buses! and btw thanks for taking care of S' bag when i had to run off+D

wells as usual lately it comes back to the THANK YOU SO MUCH for lots of stuffie section!!!
LOLS,i sound like so immature+D and like a presenter!+D

i really really reallly want to say that this entire PPP experience has been a blast.
although it had shown me that you really can't put all your eggs in the same basket
it has also shown me that seriously looks can be decieving..
SO i want to like thank these people who have given me their trust,and heaven knows i trust you guys TO THE MAX as well+D
LOLS,i tink actually u can like figure out on your own.[J*J*Shin*S*SQ*JM*D*A^2*R]
thanks alot for giving that listening ear and helping me up+D

iloveHSSilovemangailoveyou*MovingForwardMovingOn.
AbiGaiL+D
[Seven days of the same old scene.Seems we are bound by the laws of the same routine.]

2010-03-26T06:20:00.000-07:00

[Yellow is the MOST Cheerful Colour!!!+D]
I am not sure how this would look on the blog,i mean its not that big of a contrasting colour.
and its so hard to type in yellow. So faint you barely can see it,barely can tell mistakes+D

Well.i jux wanted to write some thoughts that popped in my head after a CERTAIN conversation took place+D

I miss the times when i really went crazy at TP,even simple things like walking down the hallways and laughing at everything that occured. The naiveness of me at that point of time was really like one of a child;i merely wanted to live through everyday with no regrets,and it seemed as though i got what i wanted even though it had a certain price to it.
Now it seems so ironic that i am still running down that hallway,but not in laughter but to hide so that we don't have to have the awkwardness there. Its like i am trying to avoid the past for today,but that's going to change.TGIF SERIOUSLY!+D LOLS!!!+D

to take the initiative to heal everything or to simply wait and see if time will do the deed for us is now the decision that i have to make. And to be honest i don't know if i have the guts to do the first,if merely because i don't know what to expect,and i have no prediction upon the reaction.The near-future isn't scary,if merely because to an extent its predictable. the far-off future on the other hand is scary,because you can't see beyond your decisions.

[the decision is now either this or that.But i have no idea which one to choose.]

I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO SUNDAY.BUT IS SUNDAY GOING TO COME???????+D

starting all over again.

2010-03-25T04:25:00.000-07:00

yups,to people who dunno[practically everyone except jcadwj] this is weird and shocking.
merely because of the fact that this entire blog is like renewed.
to be more succinct,it was actually killed and reborn from the ashes.
Jux like a phoenix.
LOLS,HP analogy~ whoops+D yups,you probably can tell.
I am doin my best to stay as happy as possible.
its pointless to stay unhappy,its a waste of time and strength.
which can be used for something else.
LIKE JAP DRAMA!!!!+D yes,i have fallen in love with Bloody Monday.
if its not the plot that really intrigues me,then its definitely Takagi Fujimaru.
umm,how do you concentrate on the show if the main character isn't hot?
obviously,i was staring very intently at the screen+D
i love Bloody Monday!+D i even feel like changing my MSN to Bloody Wednesday.
An analogy for Bloody Monday and my love for Wednesday,that very very very cool girl in the addams family.God,i loved it when i was 10.She was with her boyfriend at the graveyard,and she said;"What's the point in paying someone to kill your exlover,when you could scare him to death?" and rite after that a hand shot from the ground and grabbed her BF.Who was obviously screaming like siao.Wednesday jux laughed+D best ending i have ever seen in my life.

Oh,i sound so sadistic+P sorry+D but i can't help but enjoy the black humour.
Today we did DRAMA in HSS dicovery+D
well,i had sort of an advantage in the games i guess.
enough experience from ELDS!+D LOLS,who would ever know?
i really miss the wall game though! i loved that game the most+D
we did the usual [Zip*Zap*BOING! Game],the usual human knot game,
and we did some improv via [Leader and Follwer].which is one of my favourites.
then some mini plays[via miming+D] which was ohkay..
it tested upon old skills that were used so long ago.
so i wasn't really at my best standard.. LOLS.
Had lots of fun with the trainer and all the other HSS people+D
the trainer[paul] really was SO funny.Our entire group ended up in so much laughter+D

i really want to say something important to me before this entire blog begins again.
[wait..is that rite? i mean its started rite...+D heys,a kid is chanting Orange Orange!~]
First;
I want to thank you so much.You have given me so much support that i was able to stand once again.You know,the real guardian angels are those who dunno know everything yet understand everything,and when you tell them they become your real friends.
[THANKS JM for this very nice quote!+D LOLS,i really like it+D i changed it a little though]
You know,some may think i sound insincere,keep thanking the same people again and again.
but its because you guys keep saving me.i have to keep thanking+D
LOLS,weird rationale? Thanks!+D [For A*C*D*J*WJ*R*JM as well i suppose+D]
Moving Forward,Moving On+D

Second;
even if everything that seemed to be evidence of this friendship is gone
[and it is.You did your part.I had Caleb to do some of it for me+D LOLS,i owe you one KS!+D]
the memories remain.Since the post is already gone with everything else.
I want to thank you for everything. For at least writing even that harsh post,and your final one. It gave me closure to everything.I don't know if you read the post with my feelings before i deleted it and placed something else,but it doesn't matter. I did see your changes before you deleted it. And the truth is that intuition already told me we couldn't be friends after that post. There wasn't hope,because of what i felt and wrote in return. You were right to say that i was pushing the blame because i didn't know the cause. I still don't. But i already know this;that if you don't forgive me there wasn't a chance. Because in every fight there must be forgiveness on both ends to work. Yes.I am being childish again rite? and i don't deny it. i was always a child who never could understand. Maybe some of the things i said were wrong,because i misunderstood..The blame belongs to me as well,so i will bear the consequences of it. I don't know if you will ever read this,if you will even bother to read this. i know Caleb and Darren quite well[i hope!+D] and if it were them they wouldn't. i wouldn't blame you either. Girls are always more emotional even if they don't want to be.which sux to be honest. But if you do then at least accept my gratitude and my apology.Its really all i ask.

Lastly;
I want to say that i have thought this over so many times...
and i have decided on something that i didn't think i would.
I have given up[really,officially and without any evidence as well] on him.
which again only some people know.
All i had left were memories and that one and only picture.
No name,only school and only my infactuation with his existence.
Maybe because everyone told me that it was impossible
that was how i got strong.
Merely a girl whose feelings couldn't be reciprocated unless she worked hard like siao.It paid off in the end..for my future. Not ours.I had one chance but it was gone because i couldn't find him. i used to tink Work Hard For Him..Always.
Now its Be Strong,don't falter anymore.

AbiGail+D
i loved him till the end,till that moment the [accept course] button was clicked.